Outside Influences

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Has Women’s Lib turned into women leave?

I don’t know how scientifically true that statement is, but to the following people, science doesn’t matter. In each of their situations, wives have left their husbands.

During the two and a half year period of time than my marriage has been falling apart and coming to an end, I have been introduced to people, I believe not by accident, who have faced divorce. Here is a snapshot of their stories.

While performing in a musical, I met another cast member whose mother abandoned her family when she was 13 years old. My fellow cast member said that her mother was so caught up in steamy romance novels that one day she told her husband she wasn’t happy with her life. She not only left her husband she left the church.

During my crisis, a former missionary companion of mine was going thru a crisis of his own. His wife was cheating on him with a guy she met at the gym. My friend’s wife had recently lost a tremendous amount of weight, and her new appearance was strikingly beautiful. Men at the gym clamored over her and eventually, after her affair, she divorced her husband and married a 27 year old. She was 41.

Another good friend of mine’s wife told him that he wasn’t general authority material and left.

Another person I met, his wife decided that he was too controlling and she left.

Another friend of mine has a brother who has a wife who takes trips to Las Vegas, without him, to meet other men.

Another cast member, from a different musical I performed in, told me that his own wife, just that year, had met a boyfriend on the internet and decided that her new love was more important than her marriage and filed for divorce. Several months after the divorce she realized her mistake. Right now he is trying to figure out if he should take her back.

Another friend told me that his first wife met someone in real estate school. She had an affair with a younger man, and eventually left my friend and the church.

Another cast member told me of a woman she knew who left her husband for someone she met over the internet. This woman’s friend had flown to Amsterdam and had an affair that lasted 3 months. In that situation, the woman’s husband divorced her. She had a 19 year old missionary in the field at the time.

During this short period of time I heard story after story of heartbreak and divorce. Some hadn’t even reached the point of divorce yet. And all of the stories came from people who were my friends, fellow cast members and fellow ward members. I didn’t have to look very far to see decimating stories of marriage demise.

Many marriages have problems and often the problems themselves lead to divorce. But in many of these situations it was the outside forces, not the marriage problems, that escalating the divorce.

I would lose the argument that there are not valid reasons for divorce. But for all the valid reasons out there, I believe there are a huge amount of blatantly obvious marriage failures that are due to the unfaithfulness of a spouse. And unfaithfulness doesn’t always mean the traditional affair. Unfaithfulness starts with loneliness and looking, flirting and texting, emotional attachment and emotional affairs, long before any real cheating.

Sadly I recently have fallen victim to looking, flirting, and texting. Only now am I realizing how powerful and devastating outside influences can be.

This idea of outside influences reminds me of a scripture warning of the last days:

For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts. 2 Timothy 3:6

There are two sides to every story. And of course it takes two to ruin a marriage. Just warn your wives and your daughters, however, that outside forces strike when your not looking.

The Twelve Days of Valentines

The Twelve Days of Valentines

As most of you know, several years ago I decided to invent a new kind of holiday tradition. I decided to celebrate the 12 Days of Valentines, instead of just one day. It would be patterned after the 12 Days of Christmas. Starting February 3rd, for the twelve days leading up to Valentines Day, I would surprise my wife with different cards, treats, gifts and other goodies.

Well today is February 3rd, and as most of you know my wife and I are separated. Today was a difficult day as I recognized and realized that I would not only NOT be celebrating the 12 days this year, but this year would also be the last time I would celebrate a Valentines holiday being married to Nancie.

For what it's worth, I still believe in the 12 Valentines Virtues:

1. TESTIMONY BEAR IT

2. TENDERNESS FEEL IT

3. TRUTH TELL IT

4. TIME SPEND IT

5. THRIFT SAVE IT

6. TOKENS & TRINKETS GIVE IT

7. TALK SAY IT

8. TASKS DO IT

9. THANKS EXPRESS IT

10. TOUCH SHARE IT

11. THOUGHFULNESS SHOW IT

12. TEMPERANCE ENDURE IT

And I still love and believe in my wife. Happy first day of Valentines to someone who is still very dear to my heart!