Monday, December 30, 2013

One Year Ago Today



Someone once said out of every negative situation can come positive possibilities. One year ago, today, a homeless man name Robert, passed away in my parents basement where he had been staying. My youngest brother took it exceptionally hard because it was Ryan who first came across this drifter.

Until that moment I hardly knew my brother Ryan. He is 22 years my younger and I moved out and married before he was 8. One week after Roberts death, Ryan and I took a trip to Paris. A few days after we came home, my sister Amy and I with her husband Rob and Ryan took a trip to Rome. In February, because Ryan was awarded the top sales award at Delta Airlines, he invited me to join him at a company celebration on the Islands of St Kitts and St Barts. I would never have seen these parts of the world without Ryan.

The passing of Bobert, as I affectionately called him, was a tragic end to a sad story. But his passing was the catalyst that introduced my youngest brother to me. Our brother trips gave us a unique opportunity to share some memories. In many ways he has been a brother’s keeper. Ryan has given new meaning to my mantra brothers helping brothers.

2013 was a whirlwind year of trips and travel. In April I took my mother and her sister to Paris and Rome and Venice. In the summer I took my 3 daughters on a trip as well. 

As I close 2013, reflecting on the passing of Robert and the positive connections made with Ryan, I realize that life is short, but life can be sweet.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Thinking of Christ

Today is the 1st of December and yesterday I forgot to buy something I was planning on buying. I forgot to buy a chocolate advent calendar for my children.

All of us have special holiday traditions and for some that means counting down the days until Christmas. As a boy I fondly remember the advent calendar my mother made for us. On it she had sewn a felt flannel Christmas tree and 24 pockets filled with homemade felt Christmas ornaments. Beginning Dec 1st, my sister and I would take turns, decorating the tree with the special ornament we pulled each day from a pocket on the calendar.

Some advent calendars are filled with little chocolates and children count down the days until Christmas by popping open little windows filled with chocolate candies.

Although it isn’t too late to buy a calendar and start counting down the days, the lesson I learned from forgetting the calendar, I believe will help me better remember the true reason for the season.

It is said that we are what we think about most and unfortunately sometimes we forget Christ in our words, actions, and conversations. Thinking about Christ, especially during the Christmas season is what the season really is all about. But with all the hustle and bustle and other Christmas traditions, we sometimes forget who’s birth we are really celebrating.

There is a scripture that states “we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.” 2 Nephi 25:26. In order to talk of Christ and preach of Christ we need to be thinking of Christ more often in our lives.

There is a scripture in Mosiah that states: "For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?"  Mosiah 5:13.  Perhaps this gives new meaning to that portion of the sacramental prayer that states "Always Remember Him."

It is my hope that I will remember Him each day until Christmas day and every day thereafter.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

The Spouse Trap


One of my favorite games growing up was one that I found in my grandmothers attic.  My sister and I were exploring one day and we found this amazing game that would have belonged to my mother and her siblings when they were young and living at home.  The same game exists today on store shelves with almost identical looking pieces.  The game is called Mouse Trap.

One thing that made this game so interesting to me as a boy was the fun of assembling each part of the elaborate trapping mechanism and the ultimate chain reaction that occurred when attempting to capture the mouse.  Each component was unique and creative but, standing alone, each piece would not have been enough to capture the mouse.

I think I want to write a book called "The Spouse Trap" How to Catch and Keep the Girl. Although not an original title, this slight variation from the fun board game of my youth would be a fun and catchy title.  I realize that spouse catching instead of mouse catching is hardly the same endeavor and is a crude way of talking about courtship and marriage and although I am not a proponent of trapping someone, I am interested in finding the necessary components.

Assembling all the components of good dating, courtship and marriage, is not an easy task.  Neither is finding and keeping an eternal companion.  It used to be that finding an eternal companion was the hard part, but with the ever increasing divorce rate, even in the church, it is clear that finding the right components to keep a marriage intact is more important than ever.

Assembling all the secrets, steps, keys, and pointers of a good marriage into one book would be difficult, if not impossible.  I think of my attempt at finding the many ingredients for a happy marriage more of a project than a manuscript.  And, for those of us who have been divorced, many of the lessons learned the hard way are some of the missing ingredients we lacked the first time around, and maybe they really can’t be learned from a book. 

Still, for me, looking for truth and writing down ideas have become a great source of inspiration and even revelation from God.  The very fact that I am searching for answers to tough questions and problems puts my mind and heart, if I am humble about it, in a better position to learn wisdom from on high about love and marriage. This inspiration if captured and retained in my heart will help me catch and keep the woman of my dreams.

Stay tuned for an excerpt from Chapter One:  To Try or Not To Try. 

  

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Twelve Horses



In the popular children's story, Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs, the little men that took Snow White into their home all had noticeable personality features.  Each character had a character feature, whether it was a strength or a weakness, that easily separated and identified the one from the other.  There was Grumpy, Sleepy, and Sneezy, to name a few.  The prominent feature became the name or nickname of that dwarf.

In a different house, there were twelve brothers.  The House of Israel was divided into twelve tribes because there were 12 sons of Israel.  Perhaps each of the 12 sons of Jacob had a personality feature or character feature that was distinct to that son.

Just as Jacob’s sons were uniquely different with different strengths and weaknesses, we are all children of God and we have our own set of unique talents and gifts.

But we also share some common character features that are universal.  Although these features can be divided many ways, I have chosen to categorize them into 12 areas.

Picture a stage coach being drawn by 12 horses or a sleigh being pulled by 12 dogs, our personalities and characters are driven and pulled by the following 12 forces:

Physical
Mental
Emotional
Social
Spiritual
Sexual
Financial
Personal
Parental
Marital
Patriarchal
Recreational

While two oxen can pull a wagon, sometimes additional strength and energy is necessary.  The word horsepower comes for a time before automobiles when additional horses were added to a stagecoach or wagon to increase the power that comes from adding more horses to a team of horses.  Balancing the load between 12 horses would increase the speed and strength of the transport.

A team of dogs attached to a sled in the Arctic would have a similar effect even though the needs and weather conditions are different.  Dogs can run fast and more dogs would increase the capacity of the load. 

Dogs and horses are harnessed together in two rows.  Each horse or dog is also harnessed next to another dog or horse in a kind of yoke.

When we think of yokes we usually think of wooden yokes and two oxen pulling a covered wagon.  While a yoke can be fastened to two oxen, equalizing or balancing the load pulled by dogs or horses is as important as equally yoking a pair of oxen.  The yoke connects the animals side by side but also balances out the heavy weight of the load.

We each have more than two character categories that require we learn to find balance in our lives.  Our character is pulled by at least 12 of these categories and we can easily over exaggerate a few while neglecting others.  We could be physically fit, for example, but spiritually empty.  We could be in shape financially but be a poor spouse or parent.  We might even excel spiritually or intellectually but be emotionally unstable.  Like the panels of a parachute or an umbrella, balancing isn’t just important but is also essential. Think about how tragic it would be if one of the panels in a parachute didn’t function properly.

Consider the apparatus of an umbrella and all of its working parts.  An umbrella has a canopy that is divided by spokes.  Each spoke is connected to a canopy of fabric and to a wooden or metal stem.  When the umbrella is in working condition, the spokes open and close easily and the fabric is stretched to create a canopy that protects the user from rain, snow and sun.  If the spokes break or the fabric tears, the umbrella becomes ineffective and useless and is usually discarded and replaced with a working model.

The highest and best use of our agency requires that we have self-discipline.  When we discipline ourselves, we strengthen our character and we can strengthen the categories of our character necessary for us to be effective tools in the service of the Lord.  When we manage the sum total of all of our parts, we have balance and that balance creates the synergy necessary to be, among other things, healthy, wealthy, and wise.

We neglect our weaknesses when we ignore them or fail to notice them.  Just as the parts of the umbrella can be easily broken, we can easily get out of balance or sync.  The 12 character components listed above are like cogs and wheels in a fine watch that, when working properly, work in synchronicity with each other.  Over compensating in one area while neglecting another area of our character may not at first seem too detrimental.  The athlete who doesn’t focus on school may have a few good games, or even a professional sports career, but at some point, somewhere in his or her life, the lack of balance will become obvious.  This gives new meaning to the scripture.  “Even as ye sow, so shall ye reap.”


Let us harvest the highest and best use of our character by balancing our attention and self-discipline in all the key areas of our lives so that our lives will work in harmony with His.  “Be ye therefore perfect” becomes a more definable goal when we recognize that there are areas of our lives that we need to improve, and that our God and Creator knows us and understands them and can help us reach them.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Taking a Break from Facebook


I found myself running out of time this week and realized i needed to prioritize and eliminate some things in my life.  I thought about Facebook and the time I spend on it.  Although there have been a lot of good things from Facebook, I decided to publicly give it a break.  Here is what I wrote:

I'm leaving Facebook for awhile. I have probably outstayed my welcome anyway. But I have found new friends and reunited with old friends and have enjoyed keeping up with family. I have also shared thoughts and feelings I have about the Savior and my love for him. People say follow your heart and I think that doesn't mean just do things your own way. I believe that there is a right and wrong to every question. I believe that the light of Christ is given to all men, women and children. I believe the knowledge of good and evil go all the way back to Adam. I know in my heart that there is a God whose Spirit speaks, guides and teaches truth. I have found the love of my life, and with my three sweet girls, I plan to spend the next few months with all of them celebrating the reason for the season. Until we chat again, God be with you:)

Within hours I received 45 likes and 10 comments.  I was also surprised at how many people privately sent me a message saying that my status updates were inspirational and that they would miss me.

Of course I won't leave Facebook forever, I put it off for at time.  That is what missionaries also need to do.  They need to put the past and the future off for a time and devote their whole heart, might, mind, and strength to the work. 24/7.  

Missionaries who were heavily involved in college sports or plan on playing college sports when they come home have a hard time in the mission field because they are thinking about their future.  Missionaries who are home sick for mom, their bed, their friends and their hobbies, have a hard time in the mission field as well.  Missionaries who have girls waiting at home also have a difficult time losing themselves in the work because so many are afraid that while they are gone, they will lose the one they love.  

No matter what the preoccupation, the priority problem almost always manifests itself in the work.  

Just as I am giving up some things to focus more on others, Missionaries are expected to give up, for a time, the things that distract their hearts.  "You cannot serve two masters", the Savior once said, "You cannot serve God and mammon."  In the Doctrine & Covenants, the famous phrase in Section 121 is also on point:  "Many are called but few are chosen because their hearts are set on the things of the world and they aspire the honors of men" which for the missionary also includes women.

The phrase "Sacrifice is giving up something good for something better" isn't just for missionaries, it is for all of us. When we faithfully serve the Savior, with and eye single to His glory, He blesses us in so many ways. 

Farewell Facebook for a season!  Especially the Christmas Season!

Monday, September 30, 2013

The Concept of Closeness

Recently, after attending the Sunday session of a wonderful Stake Conference, I came home to grill some ribs.  Unfortunately, the grill I had been using was out of propane and, because it was a Sunday, I chose not to go to the store.  Although I was out of fuel, I had a backup plan.

My back up plan was to build and use a little metal grill I had purchased on clearance the year before.   Instead of using propane, this new grill required charcoal.

After assembling the dozens of pieces to the new grill, I noticed that the bag of charcoal I had purchased required lighter fluid.  But since I had never owned a charcoal grill before, I had foolishly failed to purchase this important ingredient.

I sent my children thru the neighborhood in search of lighter fuel.  Most of my neighbors use gas grills and none of them had any lighter fluid.  One neighbor found some self-starting briquettes and let me take the bag. 

Even after all the work of building the grill, preparing the ribs, searching for lighter fluid, and acquiring the charcoal, and dozens of attempts to light the briquettes, I hopeless realized I was doing something wrong because the fire wouldn’t start.

We eventually gave up and just used the broiler in the oven to cook the meat, but I was determined to figure out the grill problem and why I couldn’t get it to work.

The very next day I went to the store to buy lighter fluid and a special cylinder to stack the briquettes in.  I had watched my brother in law use a similar device when starting and cooking on his grill.  After making my purchases I rushed home and began the task of preparing the grill.

I filled the cylinder with a good supply of charcoal and I poured the necessary lighter fluid on the coals.  I was excited to see the flames torch the well soaked briquettes and I was even happier to see the charcoal begin to light.

Although I was successful in starting the fire, I made the mistake of pouring out the briquettes too early and I didn’t keep the coals close enough together when I spread them out.  Again, for the second time in two attempts, I failed in lighting the grill.  The fire just went out.

I learned something about charcoal over that two day period. I call it the Concept of Closeness.

Clearly I didn’t understand the chemistry required to build a charcoal fire.  I had built many fires in Ireland while serving a mission so I should have understood the similarities of charcoal to coal or peat.  In Ireland we would use hot coals from the previous stove fire, gather coal from the coal bin the night before, stack the new coals on the old hot coals, and patiently wait until morning for a hot stove.  By morning all the new coals would be red hot and producing an intense heat.  The heat would not only heat the flat, but heat the bath water as well.

It is practically impossible, even with a large dousing of lighter fluid, to light an individual piece of charcoal or coal. Charcoal fires require multiple briquettes. The biggest reason that the charcoal in my little black metal grill did not light the first time was because the briquettes were not stacked close enough to each other.  The science of a charcoal fire is that combustion occurs because of the closeness of the bricks to one another and the air that flows between them after the match is lit.  Stacking the briquettes in a pyramid shape would have allowed the necessary reaction to occur.

However, the reason the fire went out the second time wasn’t because the briquettes weren’t close enough together to light them or to stay lit.  The tool I had purchased to keep the coals close was very effective in starting the charcoal.  The problem was I rushed the process. I just didn’t give them enough time together to really get hot.  And, even when I thought they were hot enough, I turned them too early and did not keep them close enough together once I thought they had fully ignited.

Think of each briquette as a gospel principle.  Individually they are real, and sound, and valuable.  But the collective power isn’t effective unless they are co-mingled and interlaced.  The collective understanding of all gospel principles, together in their entirety,  is powerful and creates the light and truth necessary to grow brighter and brighter like the perfect day.

Like gathering wood for a fire, we gather gospel principles one at a time, here a little there a little.  We learn line upon line and precept upon precept.  Held closely together with enough time for understanding to be developed, these principles expand and the eyes of our understanding open with them.  As we exercise faith and patience waiting, if you will, for “the tree to bring forth the fruit,” the knowledge and understanding grows “an hundred fold”
    
Like the body weight we might need to lose or the muscles we are trying to gain, or the debt we are trying to eliminate, most things change slowly and incrementally over a period of time.  Some things, like growing pumpkins, can’t be rushed.  We must understand the science behind it and patiently wait for the process.

Now think of the coals again with regards to wards, neighborhoods, and communities.  The law of consecration is based on the oneness of a people.  Each individual’s heart is like one charcoal briquette.  The synergy of consecration creates a more powerful community of combined force than ever could be achieved by the individual.  

But it starts in the heart.  Each individual briquette must change. This requires a mighty change of heart.  Think of the charcoals again and a statement made by the Savior himself.  “If you are not one, you are not mine.” 

Like the coals, when the hearts of the fathers  turn to the children and the hearts of the children turn to the fathers, the whole earth avoids a curse and the foundation of Zion is established.  When we are “of one heart and one mind, and dwell in righteousness,” we begin to reach an exalted level of closeness.  

Closeness starts with gospel principles and ends with strong families and communities. It is the path to “a more excellent way”     

Friday, September 27, 2013

The Old Ford Truck & Other Thoughts


Recently, while helping my sister and her husband move, I was attempting to drive my Grandfathers old Ford truck from West Yellowstone to Rigby, Idaho, when the old truck stalled. In the past, this old truck has had several problems, including getting too hot and flooding the carburetor.  When this happens the truck stalls and, like a flooded lawn mower, it takes many attempts to restart the engine.  It’s a race against time as the constant cranking of the starter motor wears on the ignition switch and drains the battery. 

This time was no different.  I attempted, again and again, to start the engine by turning the key in the ignition and firmly holding down the gas pedal.  But the starter motor only ground and growled, over and over again, as it was attempting to spark the engine.  I became anxious as the lights on the truck dimmed and the battery drained.  It didn’t appear that the truck would have enough fuel pressure or power to start the engine.  At the last second, just as battery was failing and the sky outside was darkening, the engine revved its grumbling sounds and the truck was fired up and ready to go.

We often face many time-sensitive pressures in our lives.  Time often runs out and deadlines are missed.  But sometimes, at the last second, just when things appear to be hopeless or lost, doors open and issues are resolved and we get back on the road of life.

For me, courtship and marriage have been like the old Ford truck.  Dating is like turning the key in the ignition, hoping that the engine of the relationship will start.  Many times, however, the dates have gone nowhere while the fuel and battery power have been exhausted.  Hope dims when things don’t take off and go as planned.  But with faith and determination I know that the engine will start, even though it may appear that everything is about to come to an end.

Fog fills our minds in many ways and we are often blind to our true potential.

Ignorance prevails when intelligence fails. If darkness is a cause or caused by ignorance and the glory of God is intelligence, or in other words, light and truth, then light will eliminate darkness when we recognize our own ignorance and sincerely seek pure rays of intelligence. Expand your intelligence with new ideas and eliminate the ignorance of worn out notions.

We really get to know people and they get to know the real us, to the degree we love and trust people, and they love and trust us.

I woke up extra early this morning and received the most profound instruction from the Spirit I have received in a very long time. It is the answer I have been looking for and it affects the relationships of all mankind. It is so rich and delicate and subtle that I have yet to find the corresponding words for it but it is real and has eternal significance.  It is a grand discovery.

There is opposition in all things. For every problem there is a solution, for every disease there is a cure, for every question there is an answer and God knows them all. In fact God would not be a God if he did not know them all. Trust in a God who knows the end from the beginning and knows all things.

Sometimes we learn the most truths from the hard lessons of life. What has been your hardest trial? What significant things have you learned from it?  What about other trials?  What significant things have you learned from them? The greatest problem requires the greatest solution. And we are blessed when we learn great solutions.

Here is the answer: At its core, the great Atonement of Jesus Christ was an act. It required action and reaction. It was a choice. It was a gift. This gift of service had a motivation. It was motivated by compassion, charity and love.  Think about our own actions and choices. Think about how much more significant they would be if motivated by compassion, charity and love.


Like a loneliness that will not go away, making sense of mortality without an understanding of the eternities leaves life empty.  Finding something to believe in that gives you hope. Joy and happiness aren’t just something for Sundays; they are absolutely necessary for life everlasting.  Don’t settle for the catch phrases of the world that tell you that this is all there is so live it up now while you can.  You invest in your eternal future by the decisions you make today.  There is life after death.  Do all that you can today to secure eternal happiness for you and your family.  It will be the best investment you will ever make.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Thoughts on Happiness


 
Even if you don't believe in Sodom & Gomorrah understand this:  There will be many emotional and spiritual hurricanes that will wreck havoc on our lives, but, more often than not, the difference between earthquakes and hurricanes is that earthquakes usually come without warnings, hurricanes do not. Lot listened to the warnings, his wife did not.

Happiness is not a mood, it is a state of being. God isn't just happy with us, God is Happiness.

Wickedness never was happiness because it is contrary to the nature of happiness and contrary to the nature of God. (Alma 41:10-11).

The question isn’t whether or not you have a past, but whether or not you have changed.  We are haunted by our past only when the unrepented sins of the present ruin our future. 

The purpose of the atonement is to help us get over the hurdles of our past that we could never get over by ourselves.  Because of the Saviors Atonement we need not be haunted by the sins of our past, but with faith in Christ and true repentance, we can change the past and remember it no more.

We have all watched drugs change sweet innocent teenagers into sick and pathetic adults. We tend to forget that money can have the same affect on people. Dickens described Scrooge in such eloquent detail. The very countenance of a person can reflect a corrupted character.  The scriptures warn of such a metamorphosis.  "For behold, at that day shall he rage in the hearts of the children of men. . .   And others he will pacify and lull them away. . ." (2 Nephi 28:20-21)

The great and spacious building can come in many shapes and sizes. For some it might be a luxury hotel and casino, for others it might be a multi level marketing mansion. For some it might be a restaurant lodge or a lavish cabin. But the iron rod of these three, repentance, obedience and endurance, leads to only one building: the temple of our God.

Surround yourself with those who instill in you the daily desire to be a better person. And don't be afraid of compliments. Both giving and receiving compliments are like little expressions of gratitude. They are not flattery when they are sincere and from the heart.

How beautiful is a heart that chooses to forgive.

When we mourn with those who mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort we are in reality furthering the process of yielding our hearts unto God. The opposite of yielding is resisting. Resisting is usually negative and polarizing. It is often combative and antagonizing. It is the opposite of peace. But when we yield our hearts to God we experience peace, we become more like peacemakers. We then can quietly be instruments that bring peace to a troubled world. In order to be a peacemaker we need to have the heart of a peacemaker. Peace is a cornerstone of true happiness. 

Are we renting a relationship or are we purchasing? Are we investing in the eternities or are we just throwing money away. The complete opposite of an eternal relationship is a one night stand. Think about it. We can have one night stands with more than just people, but with things or places or vices. The opposite of eternal is instant gratification. Where our heart is there will our treasure be also.

Think of all the connections that don’t last.  Each is like a skipping stone. Some skip along for one or two skips and then they end.  Others skip for longer, depending on compatibility.  Maybe it wasn’t that we didn’t want it to end, but so many connections we start when we are dating are short lived. I believe however the intent of the heart is important because our intentions often determine who we date and why we date. If we are not committed to being committed, for example, and we just want to fool around and be a player, then our intentions are often reflected in the outcome of the connection. If we don't want permanent in the beginning, chances are it won't end up permanent in the end. We use the word "serious" in this type of discussion. Are we looking for a casual or serious relationship? Although people may fall in love in the beginning they choose the course that love will take. Are they casual or are they committed? In the end commitment is still a choice.

Stop for a moment and thank God for that someone in your life. Then, when you get a chance . . . thank them

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

The Journey


Some of my random Facebook entries for the past few weeks.

The journeys that will bring so many together this weekend remind us that in lifes greatest journey we can pause to celebrate each others journey and gladly cheer each other along. We can still remain close even if we dont live close and we can gladly share blessings and lift burdens. To those Wildcats we will see and those we will miss, God speed in your own little journey!

What greater joy than to make a child smile.  Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these. . . ye have done it unto me. 

Sweet, tender, and beautiful.  Words that describe the worth of a soul.

Priceless is the sweetness of a meek and lowly soul. Children radiate such sweetness and their innocence is divine. Hold a child and you hold a treasure greater than gold. Be like a child and you walk with God.

Joy is an interesting thing. It includes laughter at the appropriate things that bring laughter. It is easy going, at times, and doesn't take things that do not matter much too seriously but rejoices in things that are eternal. Joy isn't grumpy. It can laugh at itself but still brings a rush of happy tears for tender moments and tender mercies of things that matter most. It is, of course, happy and cheerful because it realizes that, in spite of the pain, there is joy in the journey.

Gratitude not only reflects what i have and how i feel about my past it also gives me hope for the future. Gratitude helps heal my heart of hurts and warms my soul with joy & peace. This joy and peace is as priceless as the people in my life both old & young. People are my greatest joy and happiness and i am blessed and lucky to have such great people in my life. So thanks friends & family for the love & happiness.

Blinded by stubbornness we so often stumble along.

Sometimes we confuse intentions with feelings. Saying how we feel about something and saying that we are going to do something are two different things. While it is important to recognize true feelings, it is critical to match honest words with honest actions. Our lives are a constant reflection of our words, our actions, and our true intentions.

Missionaries starting out remind those of us who once were blessed to wear similar suits to serve the Lord, that God is anxious to bless us and help us and love all of us. May we be as excited and devoted as these 18 year olds who are ready and willing to give up so much for people they don't even know. Or as Elder Bybee pointed out today, eternal friends who are waiting for us to find them. Four simple words: I found my friend.

When we compromise we share happiness. When we cooperate we share happiness. When, in the pursuit of happiness, we infringe on the happiness of others, that usually equates to selfishness.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

He Succors As Much As He Suffered


It is hard to just smile away aches and heartbreak, but according to Job it is truth that gave Job strength and hope. It is truth that brings peace. It is truth that “sets us free” and relieves the sorrow by suggesting to the mind and heart “things as they really are and really will be.”(Jacob 4:13) Eternal things are the things that really will be. They are the “pearl of great price” (Matthew 13:46) and are of the highest priority and worth.

Christ helps us temper anger with charity. We can change contention to compassion through the miracle of His redeeming love.

The less we take ourselves too seriously the less we are offended by the sins of others. Sure sin is absolutely wrong but Christ absolutely paid for all of it. Perhaps it is the sins we ourselves have not overcome and repented of that make us so anxious and worried about the sins of others. When we lack humility we lack compassion and we over-exaggerate the long term effect of any sin. Christ suffered so we would not have to suffer with any part of sin. When we lack humility we are much more alarmed at the actions and the addictions of others because we are not at peace with ourselves. This does not justify to the least degree of allowance any sin. Victims of sin really do exist and the pain and even the horror of some consequences of sin are sickening and evil and devastating. But in these darkest moments of life, when evil has killed all hope of joy and happiness, run to a Savior who succors as much as He suffered.

Repentance is a process of recognizing and changing. Life is a process of recognizing and changing. With these two truths in mind now reconsider the scripture "the natural man is an enemy to God." (see Mosiah 3:7)  "Yielding to the enticings of the Holy Spirit" is a form of recognizing. "Putting off the natural man" is a process of changing. To "become a saint" we must be "willing to submit to all things," especially repentance. We must be willing to submit to the process of repentance for real change to take place. Saints become saints because they repent.

Without the grace of Jesus Christ repentance is incomplete. The Atonement is the central act that makes repentance possible in the first place. How do we know we have repented? His grace is sufficient to forgive us and transform us. We know we have repented when the Holy Spirit confirms it. God freely forgives those who truly repent.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Look in the Mirror

There is a lot of money and effort being utilized to design and manufacture designer clothing.   Clothing makes a fashion statement.  But even more than that, the clothes we wear make a statement about who we are and how we feel about ourselves. Like clothes, the words we say also make a statement.  The words we say, and how we say them makes a statement beyond just the words we use. We should be as meticulous about what we say and don’t say as we are about what we wear. 

When our clothes get stained it’s good to wash them.  When our clothes get torn we ought to mend them or replace them.  When they are wrinkled we ought to iron them. When they are so faded and worn out we often discard, consign, or donate them. 

 Just as we take care of our clothes, we should care for and care about the words we use and the things we say in our texts and tweets and emails and phone calls and other messages we send and receive.  Again the words we use should be as carefully chosen and cared for as the clothes we wear.

Sometimes our carelessness with what we say is a reflection of innocent mistakes or clumsiness on our part.  But, more often than not, our carelessness often reflects something deeper.  When we handle something with dignity and respect, it is reflected in our positive thoughts, actions, and behavior. When we cherish and care for something we usually handle it with care and we take care of it. When we are careless, however, we reflect a level of apathy and indifference; we suggest to the world that what we wear or what we say to other people doesn’t really matter.  Or even worse, perhaps the apathy and carelessness is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.  If we lack self-respect it is often reflected in our appearance, our attitude, and the words we use.

Communication, like good manners, matters.  We can build and strengthen relationships or we can tear down and destroy relationships if we don’t watch what words we use.

But we can take it to extremes. Sometimes we put too much emphasis on the clothes we wear, the cars we drive, and the mansions we live in.  These are all material things and sometimes we get caught up believing that material things will make a better statement about us.   Materialism is the language of the world.  Too often people hear the language of money instead of hearing the language of the Spirit.  Too often people “set their hearts on the things of the world and aspire to the honors of men”.  Too often people believe that material things will bring them approval, acceptance, fame and attention, and with that fame and approval they will find happiness.

But all material things will come to an end.  Plus, you can’t take material things with you to the next life. But you will take the level of intelligence you have attained to with you.  This will include your character and your emotional intelligence.  If you have squandered the opportunities to develop your character, your talents and other God given attributes, while in mortality, what you will take with you will be reflected in the kind of person you have become.   Those who have obtained a higher level of intelligence in this life will have greater blessings in the next.

Human interaction requires skills and talents.  To relate with others we need to develop the tools necessary to do so.  Like a child that needs to learn to think and to speak in order to function and communicate in society, we all need to continually develop skills of relating and communicating. 

This is clearly obvious in the ever increasing divorce rate.  How we relate to one another, especially husband and wife, requires more skill and attention than we have ever expended before.  Relating isn’t easy but eternal relationships can and do exist, and we can begin to forge an eternal relationship when we invest in ourselves and our ability to communicate with our eternal companions.

Money is at the root of so many dead end marriages because the hearts of those involved often turned to money instead of God or each other to work out the difficulties in a marriage.  Money then becomes part of the problem instead of part of the solution.

There is one priceless commodity that could replace money or material things as the central focus in our marriage and in our lives.  If we replace this one priceless commodity, so much more mending and healing would take place .  That priceless commodity is charity.

Our self-worth is strengthened by our knowledge of our divine heritage and our eternal potential. When we realize we are children of Almighty God, and we have the power to possess divine attributes, we realize we have the power and potential to do great things in this life and become like God in the next.

It is not blasphemy to say that as God is man may become. God knows that it is impossible to achieve divinity in a fallen world. It is fallen man that sneers at the prospect because they know nothing of that God who created them.

It is only though exaltation that man achieves godliness. The power to obtain godhood is held by God and granted by God. What we can obtain and must obtain in this life is a perfect brightness of hope. And that perfect brightness of hope is within reach.

We can hope with all our hearts to become like our Father. It is a sublime act of worship to love Him with all our hearts and want to be like Him.

Developing the divinity within us requires discovering its divine source. This in turn helps us to discover God. The knowledge of God is so important and so crucial that none will dwell with Him that didn’t first know Him. Have the faith to find Him and by your faith and best efforts you will come to know God.

“Didn’t I tell you this is life eternal?”   John 17:3

Self-esteem and confidence build trust. Self-esteem and confidence build greater trust in self, in others, and in God.  Those who are skeptical, critical, and suspicious lack trust and usually lack confidence and self-worth . Those who are suspicious and skeptical and critical usually lack charity as well. They are often negative and bitter and full of prejudice. And prejudice is most often the fruit of low self-esteem and low self-worth.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, how do we feel when we look at ourselves in the mirror? We should pray with all the energy of heart for the pure love of Christ so we can have charity, especially towards ourselves. Understanding this also sheds new light on the truth “even as you have done it unto the least of these ye have done it unto me”.  You are a child of God!  ~Love who you are and love God with all your heart.

There is quiet confidence that is born of meekness and humility not arrogance and pride. Arrogance and pride often resonate from an emptiness of character and are usually an overcompensation for, not a manifestation of, self-worth. Those who are meek and lowly are content that the process of becoming Christ like will require patience, a steadiness and strength of character, and a willingness to forgo the praises of the world for a happy rest that only God can grant. Meekness is rich in capabilities as well as possibilities. It is at the very center of a Christ centered soul.

There is a deeply significant truth about sharing I would like to share with you. Sharing isn’t about giving away everything; it’s about liking something so much that you keep a portion of it and liking someone else so much you are willing to share a precious portion of it with them.

Selfishness, on the other hand, just keeps all of it to oneself. But the opposite is also true: those who surrender everything seldom respect themselves and what they have to offer. Sacrifice is genuine when that portion of what is being sacrificed is being offered at a high cost, not something being taken to the dump or easily discarded.

Therefore the second great commandment is deeply profound because it includes a balance.

            It can be likened to a kind of perfect intonation. A pitch can be sharp or flat without an equalizing effect. A pitch too sharp could be likened unto too much self-love and selfishness. A pitch too flat could be likened unto too much focus on others for approval and validation.  But perfect pitch with regards to loving ones neighbor as oneself is a perfect amount of treasuring who you are and what you have balanced with sharing with someone else, whom you respect and treasure, a portion of yourself.

Monday, June 17, 2013

What is the Worth of a Soul?


There is a scripture that states that "many are called but few are chosen because their hearts are set on the things of the world and they aspire to the honors of men."

I have pondered, at great length, the last part of this phrase “aspiring to the honors of men.” Of all the meanings, including awards, fame, prestige, attention, and other recognition and accolades there is a more subtle meaning that I believe has deep, deep implications.  It has to do with how we see ourselves.

Each of us has emotional needs.  Some of these needs include acceptance, approval, and validation. But sometimes we worry too much about what other people think.  I believe those who are too caught up in worrying what other people think have a deeper problem: they are caught up in attention seeking because they do not realize their own self-worth.  They are trying to fill the emptiness inside them by relying too much on having other people fill their empty cups.  I believe the deeper problem for those who seek too much approval from others is that they are desperately lacking in the ability to love and respect themselves.

Low self-esteem is a difficulty that many have to deal with, but the problem is even more aggravated when they look to others, especially the wrong influences or destructive influences, for approval, acceptance and validation.   They try to please, placate, acquiesce and conform to get the approval, the acceptance, and the love they so desperately feel they need.

The truth is that it starts from within.  There is another truth that states, you can’t fully love others if you don’t love yourself.    Instead of worrying about what everyone else thinks of us, we would do well to consider first what we want or think. Before we can invest in others with our time, love and attention, we must first do the necessary things to invest in ourselves.  Becoming more righteous is the best investment. As we develop Christ-like attributes, we will be filled with love, power, and strength.  And we will be filled with charity, the pure love of Christ and by our fruits the world will know that we have chosen the better part and the more excellent way.

By aligning our mind and will with the mind and will of Our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, our hearts and minds will be strengthened and our confidence will wax strong in the presence of God.  Grace will sustain us in our weakness, and as we trust the Lord, He will help strengthen us to be valiant in our testimony of the Savior as we love and serve our fellow men.  Our light will shine, our harvest will be great, even an hundred fold, and the measure of our lives will testify of our devotion to Jesus Christ.   The abundance of our character will touch and bless the lives of others without drawing unnecessary attention to ourselves.

The worth of a soul is great in the eyes of God.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

THE PROMISE OF PURITY OR HALF-RIPENED APPLES AND OTHER THOUGHTS



If you were offered two apples, one half-ripened and the other fully ripened from the same tree, which fruit would you prefer?  Of course the answer appears easy: you would want the fully-ripe apple. But what if you had to wait longer for the second apple to ripen?  What if you had to wait for a considerable time?  Would you have the patience to wait even when the first apple is available and offered to you?

Sexuality could be likened to these two apples.  Although it sometimes appears forbidden, sexuality is not a forbidden fruit: it is a fruit that we must wait for, until we are legally married as husband and wife.  Many times we will be offered, if not tempted, to partake of the half-ripe apple. The world believes that you should taste the half-ripened apple before you get married so you will know if the fruit is desirable and the feelings are mutual. 

Isn’t it logical to assume that those who taste a half-ripened apple before marriage are often disappointed?  There is no guarantee that this is always the case, but those who try to test and see if there is chemistry too early, may have a half-ripened, empty experience. Perhaps they even assume, because it was an empty experience, that there was something wrong with the relationship or something wrong with the other person, or that the chemistry wasn’t there.  Or, like a one night stand, the empty experience proves that while chemistry may have been there for a moment, the chemistry was fleeting and didn’t last. 

Perhaps the greater problem in this isn’t that there isn’t chemistry or a connection, but that the connection is being attempted too early.  Isn’t it logical to assume that, although biological, sex before marriage isn’t in harmony with truth and with the Lord’s admonition that passions and appetites should be reserved within the bounds the Lord has set?    And without truth, life is empty, and there can be no fullness of joy.

When we violate our chastity and our virtue we trade love for lust.

I am perplexed by how so many people around me are blotting out and killing their consciences and the very moral compass that is the only way they can tell right from wrong.    

Individualism fosters moral relativism which breeds moral, sexual, and spiritual rebellion.

Integrity is a true reflection of our character and our conscience.

Wishing things turned out differently is really not an option. Ask yourself this question: Do I want things as they once were, or do I want things as they are now.  Therein lies the answer.

Sometimes love skips along like a skipping stone, and like many relationships, the heart stops skipping and the love doesn’t last.  Each stone is different. Most skip once or twice.  Searching for love is like searching for the right skipping stone, but once you have found it, and believe in it, it has the potential to skip on and last for eternity.

Bless mothers who live in such a way as to set an example of purity and virtue for their sweet, innocent, virtuous girls, bringing peace and giving hope that virtue and honesty and holiness are the purest way to happiness.

How much our Father in Heaven loves us! May His kind and wise influence guide and direct our lives through the light and love of His Only Begotten Son.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Christ is at the Center of an Abundant Life


We see life from a personal and mortal viewpoint.  It is a subjective viewpoint.  Our perception of the world is limited to our knowledge, our conditioning, the light and truth we have received and maintained and even the seemingly limitless reaches of our own imagination.

This personal subjective perspective is flawed, of course, because we are mortal, ignorant of so many things, and obstinate and opinionated by so many others.  We see life with very limited lenses, when we perceive the world subjectively.

God, however, is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent.  Our Father and our Savior see things from an Eternal and objective perspective.  The scriptures teach that man’s ways are not God’s ways and God’s thoughts are higher than man’s thoughts.

Expanding our subjective view of reality to see “things as they really are and as they really will be” is greatly enhanced by prophecy and revelation from God.  Without prophesy and revelation, we would be left to our own strength, and left to see things from a very poor point of view.   But through the power of the Holy Ghost, our vision of the world around us can become clearer and deeper and viewed from an eternal perspective.

As with all truth, prophecy and revelation most often come “line upon line, precept upon precept.”  It is gradually given to allow us the opportunity to expand our capacity to understand it and our responsibility to live it.  We invite prophecy and revelation into our lives by obedience and through the instrument of prayer.  When we pray to our Heavenly Father we are initiating a connection to Heaven, and if our hearts are open and pure, God will answer our prayers with revelation.

Perspective has been described in many different ways and with many different metaphors.  Take the proverbial “glass half full/half empty” metaphor.  Those with a positive perspective see the glass as half full and those with a negative perspective see the glass as half empty.

But perhaps this metaphor can be taken one step further. In addition to the above application, it is also possible to see a glass half full with an abundant perspective and a glass half empty with a scarcity perspective. In other words, those who view the world as a world full of abundance will see the same glass as half full and those who view the world from a scarcity point of view will perceive the glass as half empty.

If we see the world with an objective and abundant point of view, we can’t help but see it with a cheerful and grateful perspective.  The Lord has blessed us with so much, and there is so much the He has to offer.  But even more than this, if we view Almighty God as a generous and loving God, we will be open to the bountiful spiritual blessings and gifts He is waiting to send us.  We will recognize that God gives liberally to those who ask in faith, and to the righteous,  he promises ”mansions on high,” yes, and even promises “all that He the father hath.”

But if we let fear and doubt and scarcity creep into our lives, if we let the poison of scarcity thinking fill our minds and hearts, we begin to panic and worry that supplies of good things will run out.  We become less generous and more jealous.  We stop looking at life with an objective perspective and see life from a “what’s in it for me” point of view.  Over time our scarcity mentality really becomes a hyper selfish mentality and we take more than we give and bury our talents and hide our light under a bushel.  The cloud that hangs over those who are selfish and stingy expands and balloons into a full blown storm  of darkness.  Like the dark ages where things really were more scarce, this modern day dark age is a sad, subjective reflection of selfish people so in need of meeting their own needs, first and for most, that they fail to realize that God really does reward those  who serve and magnify their lives, and pours down  prosperity and blessings  insomuch that there isn’t room enough to receive them.

Loving and serving the Lord doesn’t take away or distract from reality, it gives depth and purpose to it. Happy is the disciple who lives what he or she believes and thrives and prospers in the process, for Christ is at the very center of an abundant life

Monday, April 29, 2013

The Man At The End Of The Train




I recently took a trip with my mother and my aunt to Europe.  During the trip we made several public transit mistakes.  The first mistake included getting on the wrong train.  A few days later, not learning our lesson from our earlier mistake, we boarded a wrong bus headed in the wrong direction.  Even after these two mistakes, on the last day of the trip, we got on the right bus but got off at the wrong stop.

The miracle, after each mistake, was that there was, miraculously, someone at the end there to help us.  At the train stop, for example, my mother went up to last person on the train and began trying to explain our plight. It literally was the last stop of the train, and we had gone miles and miles in the wrong direction.  But, it just so happened that the man at the end of the train was an American living in Paris who spoke English, and was able to immediately understand and help us.  We just needed to ask for help.

A few days later we repeated our mistake.   This time, we were in Italy not France.  This time it wasn't a train it was a bus.  When we realized we were on the wrong bus, it was too late to change and the bus took us to the train station.  But, again, not only was there a stranger there at the train station to help us, the Russian stranger we meet also understood English, and helped us find our way.  He was the only person left in the train station, the only one.   The young Russian went out of his way to help us and even went with us, for most of our journey, to help us find where we needed to go.   We just needed to ask for help.

On the last day of the trip, we finally paid attention to the signs on the bus and boarded the right bus going to our destination.  However, we missed our bus stop and ended up at the airport.   From the airport, not knowing what bus to take, we started a long walk in the direction of our destination. As we walked it began to rain. Just as the rain started, a shuttle bus, going directly to our hotel, just happened to drive by us at the right moment, and graciously pulled over when we waved it down.
Without these Samaritans at the critical junctures on our journey, we would have been left in some serious predicaments.  It would be easy to wave off the encounters and pure coincidence and luck, but the blessing that came from help from others was also, unmistakably, help from Heaven as well.

There are many lessons that can be learned from these experiences.  Miracles, Samaritans, asking for help, answers to prayers are at the top of the list.  But perhaps the greatest lesson I learned is just how easy it is to get lost by getting off the right path.

More often than not truth is a very narrow path that, without divine direction, is easy to depart from. It is so narrow that, sometimes, the slightest altering of facts or subtle shifts in attitude and opinion can divert us from truth and send us down the wrong path.  Misinformation and misunderstandings are just as dangerous as falsehood and lies.  This is true, not because the information is any more or any less evil, but because regardless of the intention, when information isn’t right, it can lead us in the wrong direction.

Remember just because something isn’t evil, doesn’t mean it isn’t wrong. 

Mistakes aren't always sins, but they are still wrong choices. We can choose to get on the wrong train. 

And just because we didn’t know something is wrong doesn’t make it right. False can never be true, right can never be wrong, regardless if we didn’t know or believe it. Many people marry the wrong person for the wrong reasons, for example, because there was no resistance and they missed the warning signs along the way. The honest in heart seek guidance to know right from wrong, they do not ignore it or openly rebel against it, The honest at heart are humble enough to ask for help and humble enough to accept advice. 

Maybe now is the time to interrogate yourself and ask the right questions.  What am I doing that is wrong? Am I on the wrong path?  Who can I ask for help?

Asking the right questions can help us to recognize that there are things we are doing that are wrong and we may not even know it.  When we give wrong answers on tests we rarely intentionally chose to give wrong answers. We simply make mistakes. We can easily mistake right from wrong and choose to choose what is wrong. Sometimes we just choose, by mistake, to get on the wrong train.  

Life is as much about learning how to avoid mistakes as it is about learning from mistakes when we make them. Righteousness is a combination of resisting and repenting of sin. Righteousness is like a kind of safe driving.  And safe driving includes defensive driving, a skill of dodging other drivers and obstacles.  Therefore, driving, like so many other things in life, requires skill and strategy. Traveling, for example, also requires skill and strategy. Travel includes places to see and places to avoid.

As it is with most things in life, in order for things to run smoothly things require effort and planning. Goals are a gold mine of good planning.

Good travel requires good decision making, sometimes on the fly, but more often with well thought out considerations and careful planning.  Successful trips usually require careful planning and while some success comes from last minute or spur of the moment decisions, most trips are the result of countless hours of rate checking, map studying, budgeting, forecasting, and adjusting, because failing to plan ahead ruins more trips than the rain.  If fact someone once said there is no such thing as bad weather only poor planning.   Think of all the effort we put into house plans, wedding plans, and travel plans. If we put so much effort into planning these important but temporal events in our lives, why do some put so little thought and attention into dating and marriage? Our success rate in marriage is revealing. Our marriage failure rate is indicative of something, that something is wrong with the process.

Like those who try to wing a trip with poor planning, those who try to wing a relationship are also usually disappointed.  Winging it means doing without forethought or planning.  Winging it often includes unnecessary risk. Winging it also includes refusing to ask for directions or help. Because our culture places too much emphasis on falling in love, instead of building a loving eternal relationship, the elements of chance, risk taking and gambling are glamorized over spiritual guidance, prayful consideration and direction, and honest introspection and careful observation.

When all is said and done, however, there are some things you just can’t plan for.  We can make emergency preparations for calamities, but we rarely can forecast and plan for them.  Many of the calamities in marriage are the result of a change that comes over people, often many years after the wedding day. Just as there can be a mighty change of heart for the good, there can also be a mighty change of the heart towards iniquity.  Just as the spiritual mighty change of heart may be more of a growing process than an event, those who grow closer and closer to iniquity often change undetected and unnoticeable over time.  The drastic change in their character seems remarkably drastic and sometimes shocking when it is revealed, but usually the change happened slowly over time.

But, like cancer, by the time the wickedness or negative changes surfaces, it is hard to reverse the damage or stop it.  Those who rejoice in iniquity usually don’t care at that point or won’t admit at that point that they are doing anything wrong anyway.  They have seared consciences that have gradually and slowly and imperceptibly gone dark over time, and their rebellious refusal to repent and to change is the result of years and years of denial not a dramatic change or single event. Those who refuse to change and repent now simply find more joy in rejoicing in iniquity.

No matter how giddy they may be, they do not feel real joy, or the eternal joy that is promised in scriptures.  Wickedness never was happiness. They may feel a sense of merriment, however. They can now eat, drink and be merry, because it is so very easy to be a sinner and it feels like so much fun to sin. 

But the scriptures teach us to rejoice not in iniquity but to rejoice in truth. To understand what it means to rejoice not in iniquity, may require that we understand and recognize when we or others rejoice in iniquity. When we celebrate evil things we rejoice in iniquity. When we enjoy things that are wrong or enjoying doing what is wrong we rejoice in iniquity. When we refuse to admit when we know something is wrong or choose to remain ignorant to actions and behaviors that are wrong we rejoice in iniquity. When we deny that right or wrong even exist in the first place or deny the clear facts that something is wrong, we rejoice in iniquity and we are dangerously in the wrong and are heading in the wrong direction, we may even be on the road towards denying the very reality and mission of Jesus Christ. 

Just because something tastes good, looks good, smells good, or feels good, doesn’t means that it is right. Just because we enjoy doing something that is wrong doesn’t make it right.

Remember false can never be true, wrong can never be right, regardless if we didn’t know or believe it.

But there is a miracle available to us after every mistake that we make. There is someone at the end waiting to help us.  Even if it feels like it is literally our last stop, and we have gone miles and miles in the wrong direction, there is someone there who understands and can help us.  We just need to ask Him for help.