Monday, September 13, 2010

What Are You Aiming For?

I don't golf. I'd like to learn how, but it just doesn't climb up my priority list very fast.

Years ago, a friend of mine related a story to me about his father who was a scratch golfer. He said his father was very competitive and entered golf tournaments frequently. On one of these occasions my friend, Bruce, got to be his caddy. Bruce said "I think it was on the 8th or 9th hole, kind of a dog leg type of green, where my father swung at a golf ball with a wood club so hard it screamed across the sky. It looked like it was a beautiful shot, but the ball fell into the rough. My father then took a one iron and strategically swung again at that ball, lifting it out of the thicket and back on to the green. He eventually got a birdie on the hole.”

Later, as they were putting the clubs away Bruce’s father said something that impacted Bruce deeply. "In golf, " his father said, "the straight shots are the pretty ones, and that is what everyone is trying for. But that isn't the game of golf." "Golf,” he said, "is learning how to get yourself out of problems; learning how to work your way out of the rough"

The great golfers have their share of great shots, but even more important they can tell of their many experiences in the rough. Driving on the course requires strategy and foresight. Getting yourself out of problems when you are there, trying to smack shots straight down the green when you can.

So what are you aiming for?

I want you to do something. I want you to make a wishlist. Some kind of bucketlist of things you wish for. Places, things, people, hobbies, activities, etc. It will take effort even to make such a list, but if you don't make a list of what you wish for and want, how are you ever going to find it?

The wishlist doesn't have to be long or even that realisitc. You are not getting your hopes up, you are just making a list. The list will help you discover what makes you happy. Each wish is a hole on the golf course of life.

So make the list. Don't blow off this request and take the road of least resisitance. Really make a list of what you want out of life. It's not really goal setting or planning (that comes later) its just asking yourself what do I really want.

I joined a choir, helped build a float, performed on stage in a musical, and gave up marching band, all in the same year. I didn't win an Oscar or climb Mt Everest, but I did something new. And it all started with interest and intent.

So what are you interested in? What do you intend to do?

I intend to make a list.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

What's Wrong With Me?

Yesterday my wife’s Facebooks status was quite funny. It read: Am I just retarded and no one is telling me?

Of course being retarded isn’t funny, but the idea that there could me something wrong with us, and everyone is avoiding telling us, is kind of humorous.

Maybe what she was really asking was this: Is there something wrong with me and no one is telling me?

If we were facing a physical illness, we would want straightforward answers from a professional. We would want a doctor to diagnose a medical condition, early on, before the negative effects worsened.

Beyond medical advice, sometimes we are reluctant to take advice, and, in a politically correct world, we are hesitant to give it.

When did we grow out of the need for correction in our lives? As a child, our parents were very quick to give us “constructive criticism”. Our mothers often told us to “stop chewing with our mouths open”, or “take a bath because your hair stinks”, or even” throw away that awful shirt”. Our teachers also were quick to point out the mistakes we made on every assignment we turned in. Our coaches or directors sometimes yelled at us when we were doing something wrong.

Now that we are adults we take it personally when someone points out a mistake. We “get defensive” when someone attempts to correct us. Nowadays even judges, in courtrooms, have a difficult time getting the corrective message across to the individual, and eventually send many people, unwilling to change, to a “correction facility”.

Recently I finished participating in a community theater production of The Music Man. It was my first community theater experience and one thing that I found very interesting was the directors “notes” at the end of every rehearsal. At first I took the directors notes very personal. I was “easily offended” by the notion that they were right and I was wrong. But over time I implemented their constructive criticism and changed what I was doing on stage. And, in the end, it was an improvement.

We all need to change something. We just can’t always expect someone else to point it out.

It’s hard to admit when we are wrong, hard to admit we are sinning, and hard to admit we need to change. The mote and beam parable begins to seem more applicable when we use modern day terms.

God loves us unconditionally and He is all knowing. He would be a great source of insight into what we need to fix and change. The scriptures are powerful because they are filled with counsel, admonitions, and instruction. These “directors notes” are applicable to all of us and are less confrontational than talking to a spouse, bishop, or even a shrink.

Change one word in the following verse and you are on your way to figuring out how to fix what is wrong:

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding; in all they ways acknowledge Him, and He shall correct thy paths.”

Sometimes the Lord chastens us to get us to change. But He loves us and that is why He gives us these “notes”.