The Concept of Closeness

Recently, after attending the Sunday session of a wonderful Stake Conference, I came home to grill some ribs.  Unfortunately, the grill I had been using was out of propane and, because it was a Sunday, I chose not to go to the store.  Although I was out of fuel, I had a backup plan.

My back up plan was to build and use a little metal grill I had purchased on clearance the year before.   Instead of using propane, this new grill required charcoal.

After assembling the dozens of pieces to the new grill, I noticed that the bag of charcoal I had purchased required lighter fluid.  But since I had never owned a charcoal grill before, I had foolishly failed to purchase this important ingredient.

I sent my children thru the neighborhood in search of lighter fuel.  Most of my neighbors use gas grills and none of them had any lighter fluid.  One neighbor found some self-starting briquettes and let me take the bag. 

Even after all the work of building the grill, preparing the ribs, searching for lighter fluid, and acquiring the charcoal, and dozens of attempts to light the briquettes, I hopeless realized I was doing something wrong because the fire wouldn’t start.

We eventually gave up and just used the broiler in the oven to cook the meat, but I was determined to figure out the grill problem and why I couldn’t get it to work.

The very next day I went to the store to buy lighter fluid and a special cylinder to stack the briquettes in.  I had watched my brother in law use a similar device when starting and cooking on his grill.  After making my purchases I rushed home and began the task of preparing the grill.

I filled the cylinder with a good supply of charcoal and I poured the necessary lighter fluid on the coals.  I was excited to see the flames torch the well soaked briquettes and I was even happier to see the charcoal begin to light.

Although I was successful in starting the fire, I made the mistake of pouring out the briquettes too early and I didn’t keep the coals close enough together when I spread them out.  Again, for the second time in two attempts, I failed in lighting the grill.  The fire just went out.

I learned something about charcoal over that two day period. I call it the Concept of Closeness.

Clearly I didn’t understand the chemistry required to build a charcoal fire.  I had built many fires in Ireland while serving a mission so I should have understood the similarities of charcoal to coal or peat.  In Ireland we would use hot coals from the previous stove fire, gather coal from the coal bin the night before, stack the new coals on the old hot coals, and patiently wait until morning for a hot stove.  By morning all the new coals would be red hot and producing an intense heat.  The heat would not only heat the flat, but heat the bath water as well.

It is practically impossible, even with a large dousing of lighter fluid, to light an individual piece of charcoal or coal. Charcoal fires require multiple briquettes. The biggest reason that the charcoal in my little black metal grill did not light the first time was because the briquettes were not stacked close enough to each other.  The science of a charcoal fire is that combustion occurs because of the closeness of the bricks to one another and the air that flows between them after the match is lit.  Stacking the briquettes in a pyramid shape would have allowed the necessary reaction to occur.

However, the reason the fire went out the second time wasn’t because the briquettes weren’t close enough together to light them or to stay lit.  The tool I had purchased to keep the coals close was very effective in starting the charcoal.  The problem was I rushed the process. I just didn’t give them enough time together to really get hot.  And, even when I thought they were hot enough, I turned them too early and did not keep them close enough together once I thought they had fully ignited.

Think of each briquette as a gospel principle.  Individually they are real, and sound, and valuable.  But the collective power isn’t effective unless they are co-mingled and interlaced.  The collective understanding of all gospel principles, together in their entirety,  is powerful and creates the light and truth necessary to grow brighter and brighter like the perfect day.

Like gathering wood for a fire, we gather gospel principles one at a time, here a little there a little.  We learn line upon line and precept upon precept.  Held closely together with enough time for understanding to be developed, these principles expand and the eyes of our understanding open with them.  As we exercise faith and patience waiting, if you will, for “the tree to bring forth the fruit,” the knowledge and understanding grows “an hundred fold”

    

Like the body weight we might need to lose or the muscles we are trying to gain, or the debt we are trying to eliminate, most things change slowly and incrementally over a period of time.  Some things, like growing pumpkins, can’t be rushed.  We must understand the science behind it and patiently wait for the process.

Now think of the coals again with regards to wards, neighborhoods, and communities.  The law of consecration is based on the oneness of a people.  Each individual’s heart is like one charcoal briquette.  The synergy of consecration creates a more powerful community of combined force than ever could be achieved by the individual.  

But it starts in the heart.  Each individual briquette must change. This requires a mighty change of heart.  Think of the charcoals again and a statement made by the Savior himself.  “If you are not one, you are not mine.” 

Like the coals, when the hearts of the fathers  turn to the children and the hearts of the children turn to the fathers, the whole earth avoids a curse and the foundation of Zion is established.  When we are “of one heart and one mind, and dwell in righteousness,” we begin to reach an exalted level of closeness.  

Closeness starts with gospel principles and ends with strong families and communities. It is the path to “a more excellent way”     

The Old Ford Truck & Other Thoughts

Recently, while helping my sister and her husband move, I was attempting to drive my Grandfathers old Ford truck from West Yellowstone to Rigby, Idaho, when the old truck stalled. In the past, this old truck has had several problems, including getting too hot and flooding the carburetor.  When this happens the truck stalls and, like a flooded lawn mower, it takes many attempts to restart the engine.  It’s a race against time as the constant cranking of the starter motor wears on the ignition switch and drains the battery. 

This time was no different.  I attempted, again and again, to start the engine by turning the key in the ignition and firmly holding down the gas pedal.  But the starter motor only ground and growled, over and over again, as it was attempting to spark the engine.  I became anxious as the lights on the truck dimmed and the battery drained.  It didn’t appear that the truck would have enough fuel pressure or power to start the engine.  At the last second, just as battery was failing and the sky outside was darkening, the engine revved its grumbling sounds and the truck was fired up and ready to go.

We often face many time-sensitive pressures in our lives.  Time often runs out and deadlines are missed.  But sometimes, at the last second, just when things appear to be hopeless or lost, doors open and issues are resolved and we get back on the road of life.

For me, courtship and marriage have been like the old Ford truck.  Dating is like turning the key in the ignition, hoping that the engine of the relationship will start.  Many times, however, the dates have gone nowhere while the fuel and battery power have been exhausted.  Hope dims when things don’t take off and go as planned.  But with faith and determination I know that the engine will start, even though it may appear that everything is about to come to an end.

Fog fills our minds in many ways and we are often blind to our true potential.

Ignorance prevails when intelligence fails. If darkness is a cause or caused by ignorance and the glory of God is intelligence, or in other words, light and truth, then light will eliminate darkness when we recognize our own ignorance and sincerely seek pure rays of intelligence. Expand your intelligence with new ideas and eliminate the ignorance of worn out notions.

We really get to know people and they get to know the real us, to the degree we love and trust people, and they love and trust us.

I woke up extra early this morning and received the most profound instruction from the Spirit I have received in a very long time. It is the answer I have been looking for and it affects the relationships of all mankind. It is so rich and delicate and subtle that I have yet to find the corresponding words for it but it is real and has eternal significance.  It is a grand discovery.

There is opposition in all things. For every problem there is a solution, for every disease there is a cure, for every question there is an answer and God knows them all. In fact God would not be a God if he did not know them all. Trust in a God who knows the end from the beginning and knows all things.

Sometimes we learn the most truths from the hard lessons of life. What has been your hardest trial? What significant things have you learned from it?  What about other trials?  What significant things have you learned from them? The greatest problem requires the greatest solution. And we are blessed when we learn great solutions.

Here is the answer: At its core, the great Atonement of Jesus Christ was an act. It required action and reaction. It was a choice. It was a gift. This gift of service had a motivation. It was motivated by compassion, charity and love.  Think about our own actions and choices. Think about how much more significant they would be if motivated by compassion, charity and love.

Like a loneliness that will not go away, making sense of mortality without an understanding of the eternities leaves life empty.  Finding something to believe in that gives you hope. Joy and happiness aren’t just something for Sundays; they are absolutely necessary for life everlasting.  Don’t settle for the catch phrases of the world that tell you that this is all there is so live it up now while you can.  You invest in your eternal future by the decisions you make today.  There is life after death.  Do all that you can today to secure eternal happiness for you and your family.  It will be the best investment you will ever make.

Thoughts on Happiness

 

Even if you don't believe in Sodom & Gomorrah understand this:  There will be many emotional and spiritual hurricanes that will wreck havoc on our lives, but, more often than not, the difference between earthquakes and hurricanes is that earthquakes usually come without warnings, hurricanes do not. Lot listened to the warnings, his wife did not.

Happiness is not a mood, it is a state of being. God isn't just happy with us, God is Happiness.

Wickedness never was happiness because it is contrary to the nature of happiness and contrary to the nature of God. (Alma 41:10-11).

The question isn’t whether or not you have a past, but whether or not you have changed.  We are haunted by our past only when the unrepented sins of the present ruin our future. 

The purpose of the atonement is to help us get over the hurdles of our past that we could never get over by ourselves.  Because of the Saviors Atonement we need not be haunted by the sins of our past, but with faith in Christ and true repentance, we can change the past and remember it no more.

We have all watched drugs change sweet innocent teenagers into sick and pathetic adults. We tend to forget that money can have the same affect on people. Dickens described Scrooge in such eloquent detail. The very countenance of a person can reflect a corrupted character.  The scriptures warn of such a metamorphosis.  "For behold, at that day shall he rage in the hearts of the children of men. . .   And others he will pacify and lull them away. . ." (2 Nephi 28:20-21)

The great and spacious building can come in many shapes and sizes. For some it might be a luxury hotel and casino, for others it might be a multi level marketing mansion. For some it might be a restaurant lodge or a lavish cabin. But the iron rod of these three, repentance, obedience and endurance, leads to only one building: the temple of our God.

Surround yourself with those who instill in you the daily desire to be a better person. And don't be afraid of compliments. Both giving and receiving compliments are like little expressions of gratitude. They are not flattery when they are sincere and from the heart.

How beautiful is a heart that chooses to forgive.

When we mourn with those who mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort we are in reality furthering the process of yielding our hearts unto God. The opposite of yielding is resisting. Resisting is usually negative and polarizing. It is often combative and antagonizing. It is the opposite of peace. But when we yield our hearts to God we experience peace, we become more like peacemakers. We then can quietly be instruments that bring peace to a troubled world. In order to be a peacemaker we need to have the heart of a peacemaker. Peace is a cornerstone of true happiness. 

Are we renting a relationship or are we purchasing? Are we investing in the eternities or are we just throwing money away. The complete opposite of an eternal relationship is a one night stand. Think about it. We can have one night stands with more than just people, but with things or places or vices. The opposite of eternal is instant gratification. Where our heart is there will our treasure be also.

Think of all the connections that don’t last.  Each is like a skipping stone. Some skip along for one or two skips and then they end.  Others skip for longer, depending on compatibility.  Maybe it wasn’t that we didn’t want it to end, but so many connections we start when we are dating are short lived. I believe however the intent of the heart is important because our intentions often determine who we date and why we date. If we are not committed to being committed, for example, and we just want to fool around and be a player, then our intentions are often reflected in the outcome of the connection. If we don't want permanent in the beginning, chances are it won't end up permanent in the end. We use the word "serious" in this type of discussion. Are we looking for a casual or serious relationship? Although people may fall in love in the beginning they choose the course that love will take. Are they casual or are they committed? In the end commitment is still a choice.

Stop for a moment and thank God for that someone in your life. Then, when you get a chance . . . thank them

The Journey

Some of my random Facebook entries for the past few weeks.

The journeys that will bring so many together this weekend remind us that in lifes greatest journey we can pause to celebrate each others journey and gladly cheer each other along. We can still remain close even if we dont live close and we can gladly share blessings and lift burdens. To those Wildcats we will see and those we will miss, God speed in your own little journey!

What greater joy than to make a child smile.  Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these. . . ye have done it unto me. 

Sweet, tender, and beautiful.  Words that describe the worth of a soul.

Priceless is the sweetness of a meek and lowly soul. Children radiate such sweetness and their innocence is divine. Hold a child and you hold a treasure greater than gold. Be like a child and you walk with God.

Joy is an interesting thing. It includes laughter at the appropriate things that bring laughter. It is easy going, at times, and doesn't take things that do not matter much too seriously but rejoices in things that are eternal. Joy isn't grumpy. It can laugh at itself but still brings a rush of happy tears for tender moments and tender mercies of things that matter most. It is, of course, happy and cheerful because it realizes that, in spite of the pain, there is joy in the journey.

Gratitude not only reflects what i have and how i feel about my past it also gives me hope for the future. Gratitude helps heal my heart of hurts and warms my soul with joy & peace. This joy and peace is as priceless as the people in my life both old & young. People are my greatest joy and happiness and i am blessed and lucky to have such great people in my life. So thanks friends & family for the love & happiness.

Blinded by stubbornness we so often stumble along.

Sometimes we confuse intentions with feelings. Saying how we feel about something and saying that we are going to do something are two different things. While it is important to recognize true feelings, it is critical to match honest words with honest actions. Our lives are a constant reflection of our words, our actions, and our true intentions.

Missionaries starting out remind those of us who once were blessed to wear similar suits to serve the Lord, that God is anxious to bless us and help us and love all of us. May we be as excited and devoted as these 18 year olds who are ready and willing to give up so much for people they don't even know. Or as Elder Bybee pointed out today, eternal friends who are waiting for us to find them. Four simple words: I found my friend.

When we compromise we share happiness. When we cooperate we share happiness. When, in the pursuit of happiness, we infringe on the happiness of others, that usually equates to selfishness.

He Succors As Much As He Suffered

It is hard to just smile away aches and heartbreak, but according to Job it is truth that gave Job strength and hope. It is truth that brings peace. It is truth that “sets us free” and relieves the sorrow by suggesting to the mind and heart “things as they really are and really will be.”(Jacob 4:13) Eternal things are the things that really will be. They are the “pearl of great price” (Matthew 13:46) and are of the highest priority and worth.

Christ helps us temper anger with charity. We can change contention to compassion through the miracle of His redeeming love.

The less we take ourselves too seriously the less we are offended by the sins of others. Sure sin is absolutely wrong but Christ absolutely paid for all of it. Perhaps it is the sins we ourselves have not overcome and repented of that make us so anxious and worried about the sins of others. When we lack humility we lack compassion and we over-exaggerate the long term effect of any sin. Christ suffered so we would not have to suffer with any part of sin. When we lack humility we are much more alarmed at the actions and the addictions of others because we are not at peace with ourselves. This does not justify to the least degree of allowance any sin. Victims of sin really do exist and the pain and even the horror of some consequences of sin are sickening and evil and devastating. But in these darkest moments of life, when evil has killed all hope of joy and happiness, run to a Savior who succors as much as He suffered.

Repentance is a process of recognizing and changing. Life is a process of recognizing and changing. With these two truths in mind now reconsider the scripture "the natural man is an enemy to God." (see Mosiah 3:7)  "Yielding to the enticings of the Holy Spirit" is a form of recognizing. "Putting off the natural man" is a process of changing. To "become a saint" we must be "willing to submit to all things," especially repentance. We must be willing to submit to the process of repentance for real change to take place. Saints become saints because they repent.

Without the grace of Jesus Christ repentance is incomplete. The Atonement is the central act that makes repentance possible in the first place. How do we know we have repented? His grace is sufficient to forgive us and transform us. We know we have repented when the Holy Spirit confirms it. God freely forgives those who truly repent.

Look in the Mirror

There is a lot of money and effort being utilized to design and manufacture designer clothing.   Clothing makes a fashion statement.  But even more than that, the clothes we wear make a statement about who we are and how we feel about ourselves. Like clothes, the words we say also make a statement.  The words we say, and how we say them makes a statement beyond just the words we use. We should be as meticulous about what we say and don’t say as we are about what we wear. 

When our clothes get stained it’s good to wash them.  When our clothes get torn we ought to mend them or replace them.  When they are wrinkled we ought to iron them. When they are so faded and worn out we often discard, consign, or donate them. 

 Just as we take care of our clothes, we should care for and care about the words we use and the things we say in our texts and tweets and emails and phone calls and other messages we send and receive.  Again the words we use should be as carefully chosen and cared for as the clothes we wear.

Sometimes our carelessness with what we say is a reflection of innocent mistakes or clumsiness on our part.  But, more often than not, our carelessness often reflects something deeper.  When we handle something with dignity and respect, it is reflected in our positive thoughts, actions, and behavior. When we cherish and care for something we usually handle it with care and we take care of it. When we are careless, however, we reflect a level of apathy and indifference; we suggest to the world that what we wear or what we say to other people doesn’t really matter.  Or even worse, perhaps the apathy and carelessness is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.  If we lack self-respect it is often reflected in our appearance, our attitude, and the words we use.

Communication, like good manners, matters.  We can build and strengthen relationships or we can tear down and destroy relationships if we don’t watch what words we use.

But we can take it to extremes. Sometimes we put too much emphasis on the clothes we wear, the cars we drive, and the mansions we live in.  These are all material things and sometimes we get caught up believing that material things will make a better statement about us.   Materialism is the language of the world.  Too often people hear the language of money instead of hearing the language of the Spirit.  Too often people “set their hearts on the things of the world and aspire to the honors of men”.  Too often people believe that material things will bring them approval, acceptance, fame and attention, and with that fame and approval they will find happiness.

But all material things will come to an end.  Plus, you can’t take material things with you to the next life. But you will take the level of intelligence you have attained to with you.  This will include your character and your emotional intelligence.  If you have squandered the opportunities to develop your character, your talents and other God given attributes, while in mortality, what you will take with you will be reflected in the kind of person you have become.   Those who have obtained a higher level of intelligence in this life will have greater blessings in the next.

Human interaction requires skills and talents.  To relate with others we need to develop the tools necessary to do so.  Like a child that needs to learn to think and to speak in order to function and communicate in society, we all need to continually develop skills of relating and communicating. 

This is clearly obvious in the ever increasing divorce rate.  How we relate to one another, especially husband and wife, requires more skill and attention than we have ever expended before.  Relating isn’t easy but eternal relationships can and do exist, and we can begin to forge an eternal relationship when we invest in ourselves and our ability to communicate with our eternal companions.

Money is at the root of so many dead end marriages because the hearts of those involved often turned to money instead of God or each other to work out the difficulties in a marriage.  Money then becomes part of the problem instead of part of the solution.

There is one priceless commodity that could replace money or material things as the central focus in our marriage and in our lives.  If we replace this one priceless commodity, so much more mending and healing would take place .  That priceless commodity is charity.

Our self-worth is strengthened by our knowledge of our divine heritage and our eternal potential. When we realize we are children of Almighty God, and we have the power to possess divine attributes, we realize we have the power and potential to do great things in this life and become like God in the next.

It is not blasphemy to say that as God is man may become. God knows that it is impossible to achieve divinity in a fallen world. It is fallen man that sneers at the prospect because they know nothing of that God who created them.

It is only though exaltation that man achieves godliness. The power to obtain godhood is held by God and granted by God. What we can obtain and must obtain in this life is a perfect brightness of hope. And that perfect brightness of hope is within reach.

We can hope with all our hearts to become like our Father. It is a sublime act of worship to love Him with all our hearts and want to be like Him.

Developing the divinity within us requires discovering its divine source. This in turn helps us to discover God. The knowledge of God is so important and so crucial that none will dwell with Him that didn’t first know Him. Have the faith to find Him and by your faith and best efforts you will come to know God.

“Didn’t I tell you this is life eternal?”   John 17:3

Self-esteem and confidence build trust. Self-esteem and confidence build greater trust in self, in others, and in God.  Those who are skeptical, critical, and suspicious lack trust and usually lack confidence and self-worth . Those who are suspicious and skeptical and critical usually lack charity as well. They are often negative and bitter and full of prejudice. And prejudice is most often the fruit of low self-esteem and low self-worth.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, how do we feel when we look at ourselves in the mirror? We should pray with all the energy of heart for the pure love of Christ so we can have charity, especially towards ourselves. Understanding this also sheds new light on the truth “even as you have done it unto the least of these ye have done it unto me”.  You are a child of God!  ~Love who you are and love God with all your heart.

There is quiet confidence that is born of meekness and humility not arrogance and pride. Arrogance and pride often resonate from an emptiness of character and are usually an overcompensation for, not a manifestation of, self-worth. Those who are meek and lowly are content that the process of becoming Christ like will require patience, a steadiness and strength of character, and a willingness to forgo the praises of the world for a happy rest that only God can grant. Meekness is rich in capabilities as well as possibilities. It is at the very center of a Christ centered soul.

There is a deeply significant truth about sharing I would like to share with you. Sharing isn’t about giving away everything; it’s about liking something so much that you keep a portion of it and liking someone else so much you are willing to share a precious portion of it with them.

Selfishness, on the other hand, just keeps all of it to oneself. But the opposite is also true: those who surrender everything seldom respect themselves and what they have to offer. Sacrifice is genuine when that portion of what is being sacrificed is being offered at a high cost, not something being taken to the dump or easily discarded.

Therefore the second great commandment is deeply profound because it includes a balance.

            It can be likened to a kind of perfect intonation. A pitch can be sharp or flat without an equalizing effect. A pitch too sharp could be likened unto too much self-love and selfishness. A pitch too flat could be likened unto too much focus on others for approval and validation.  But perfect pitch with regards to loving ones neighbor as oneself is a perfect amount of treasuring who you are and what you have balanced with sharing with someone else, whom you respect and treasure, a portion of yourself.

What is the Worth of a Soul?

There is a scripture that states that "many are called but few are chosen because their hearts are set on the things of the world and they aspire to the honors of men."

I have pondered, at great length, the last part of this phrase “aspiring to the honors of men.” Of all the meanings, including awards, fame, prestige, attention, and other recognition and accolades there is a more subtle meaning that I believe has deep, deep implications.  It has to do with how we see ourselves.

Each of us has emotional needs.  Some of these needs include acceptance, approval, and validation. But sometimes we worry too much about what other people think.  I believe those who are too caught up in worrying what other people think have a deeper problem: they are caught up in attention seeking because they do not realize their own self-worth.  They are trying to fill the emptiness inside them by relying too much on having other people fill their empty cups.  I believe the deeper problem for those who seek too much approval from others is that they are desperately lacking in the ability to love and respect themselves.

Low self-esteem is a difficulty that many have to deal with, but the problem is even more aggravated when they look to others, especially the wrong influences or destructive influences, for approval, acceptance and validation.   They try to please, placate, acquiesce and conform to get the approval, the acceptance, and the love they so desperately feel they need.

The truth is that it starts from within.  There is another truth that states, you can’t fully love others if you don’t love yourself.    Instead of worrying about what everyone else thinks of us, we would do well to consider first what we want or think. Before we can invest in others with our time, love and attention, we must first do the necessary things to invest in ourselves.  Becoming more righteous is the best investment. As we develop Christ-like attributes, we will be filled with love, power, and strength.  And we will be filled with charity, the pure love of Christ and by our fruits the world will know that we have chosen the better part and the more excellent way.

By aligning our mind and will with the mind and will of Our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, our hearts and minds will be strengthened and our confidence will wax strong in the presence of God.  Grace will sustain us in our weakness, and as we trust the Lord, He will help strengthen us to be valiant in our testimony of the Savior as we love and serve our fellow men.  Our light will shine, our harvest will be great, even an hundred fold, and the measure of our lives will testify of our devotion to Jesus Christ.   The abundance of our character will touch and bless the lives of others without drawing unnecessary attention to ourselves.

The worth of a soul is great in the eyes of God.