Take Off & Landing

Recently a friend of mine posted the shortest take off and landing of a single engine airplane. It was footage from a competition and the winner had won four times in a row. Within a matter of seconds and, after going just a few feet, the plane was off the ground.

And the landing was just as spectacular! Normally most planes need a long runway for a take off or landing but this plane glided down slowly and, like a sky diver attached to a parachute, the pilot landed his small plane, almost on a dime.

If i hadn't seen it I would not have believed it and, I also consider my friend, who posted the video clip, somewhat of an expert: he sells airplanes for a living.

So many factors are involved in aerodynamics: speed, weight, wind, and torque or force, to name a few. Think of all the old footage you have seen of the Wright Brothers or others who tried and failed at getting airborne.

Once Orville and Wilber Wright mastered the right formula, others were able to replicate it and now planes and jets are flying all over the world.

There is another frontier where I believe many different types of Wright Brothers have been attempting to launch something, and they are still trying to determine the formula of getting something off the ground.

I first met some of these early pioneers of flight when I attended, and eventually hosted, a weekly employment meeting. Each week unemployed men and women would gather to network. They would introduce themselves, explain the type of employment they were looking for, and trade information with others.

In a similar type of meeting, held at a different time of the week, entrepreneurs would get together and network about business ideas and businesses they were trying to launch. They even called their group the Entrepreneur Launchpad.

In addition to these two groups, I've attended chamber of commerce meetings and other business to business events. I have watch individuals try to collectively cooperate to achieve intended results.

The concept is a simple concept, but the beauty and genius entirely and completely unknown to me before. Like black charcoals on a round barbecue grill, individually it may be quite impossible to ignite the type of fire that would heat up the grill, but collectively, the constant contact between charcoals, with a flame, the right amount of oxygen, and the right amount of lighter fluid, the formula for producing heat to cook on a grill is achieved.

If you make the connection, you see that individuals are like individual pieces of  charcoal, often hard to light or motivate on their own, but individuals, working together to reach similar results, are like coals bunched together, synergizing their efforts and are compounding the results.

The unemployment meetings I have attended are unlike most meetings however. No one is selling anything to each other or trying to sell anything to each other. They are also not really in a position to hire anyone, so it is not like a job fair. In reality, it is a lot like a support group that reciprocates information, referrals, and other contact information. And, having seen these groups in action for several years, I have seen amazing, unselfish results.

In fact the above mentioned Entrepreneurial launch pad was actually started by a few people who had been attending the unemployment meetings and realized that there was power in group participation, although i don't necessarily feel that the pure motives are the same. The reason I mention this about the launch pad or maybe other group meetings like this is, no matter how pure you want the motives to be, sometimes there is someone who attends who really wants to sell you something directly, get you to join their mlm, or even worse, may steal you business idea or invention, because you didn't have the contacts or the resources to do anything with you idea.

Online social networks are a powerful tool to connect people. From Twitter to Facebook to Instagram to Linkedin it feels like we are more connected to others than we used to be. But I wonder if this level is more superficial than substantive. How strong are our friendships? How good are our connections? How long lasting are our relationships?  How many people can you call when you need something or when you are really in trouble?

I have spent the past few days in deep contemplation about this subject  How good of a friend am I?  A few years ago, while going through a terrible divorce, I started my own support group called Brothers Helping Brothers. It wasn't affiliated with my church, my line of work, or any other organization or group, it was simply for those having a hard time with the trial and transition.

Although I had been hosting the group for several years, within only a year of being single, I met a beautiful woman who I would eventually marry. Sadly I lost time and interest in the group and it faded from my priorities.  Even though the group had no part in lining me up with my wife, my single friends had helped me pick up the pieces of my life and move forward. Although my Facebook is still linked to many of my friends, I wonder how strong my contacts really are.

Naturally, over the course of our lives, our friendships shift and change. We make friends in school, then graduate and lose contact. We make friends at work, change jobs and lose contact. We make friends in wards, on missions and then, even though we don't intend to, we lose closeness and contact.

Perhaps the answer to my question is a simple one: my friendships are only as strong as the friend that I am. If I am a true friend or a good friend or a loyal friend, I will get what I give. In the end, my friendships will be a reflection of the person I have become; they will reflect who I am.

Maybe Casper the Friendly Ghost put it best when he said, "A friend in need is a friend indeed."

Zootopia

Zootopia comes out this weekend and I am really excited to see it! Although I don't know exactly what it is about, I'm going to give you my take on it.

The title "Zootopia" is a fun play on the word "utopia" which may have several definitions, but the one that comes to my mind is "perfect society". As you know the word society means a group of people, but in this story it is a group of animals, hence the word "zoo"!

What makes a great zoo is a large collection and diversity of animals that are different and unique from each other. What makes a great society are all those different animals, working together, in harmony, for things to run perfectly.

My family unit is like a little society with eight different kinds of people. And, if you add step family and extended family and in laws, you get a real zoo of diversity. It is almost as if every member of the family could, in fact, represent a different kind of animal.

Now each animal has a different make up and each behaves differently. We may want the lions to act like dogs and zebras to act like cats but lions will be lions and zebras will be zebras. The challenge for any society is to create order and organization in such away that society is regulated without eliminating diversity.

My father, Grandpa Karl, may seem slow like a sloth, now, and a shadow of his former self due to old age and health issues, but he is really a gifted man who earned a PhD in Psychology. He spent years studying organizational psychology which is, in a nutshell, the world at work. He even use to call it "the world at work"

Now, in the world at work, as my father used to say, there are three main areas of focus: Decision Making, Problem Solving and Project Completing.

So it is with us. Each of us have decisions to make, problems to solve, and projects to complete. The challenge is how we include and interact with the other animals, in our society, to get things done.

Grandpa Karl went on to introduce me to the Fabulous Five Facilitators.

Holder
Modeler
Helper
Sharer
Soloer

A facilitator is one who facilitates interaction between two or more parties or people. And these five were the areas of facilitation: holding, modeling, helping, sharing, soloing.

A holder, for example, like a cross walk guard, he or she holds back traffic so students can cross the road. A helper helps you do something, but doesn't do it for you. For example, you might get help with homework, but the helper doesn't do it for you. A modeler, like an art teacher or piano teacher, models the desired behavior and then has you do it on your own. Sharing works like this: when we share we do something together and both people equally act together. When we solo, we just do something on our own without anyone else. Showering is an excellent example of something you want to do on your own.

Some people, however, want to do everything on their own without contact or responsibility to others. But society just doesn't work that way. Someone grows and harvests the food you eat, makes the clothes you wear and the car you drive, extracts the oil and gas from the earth, you use, creates and supplies electricity, manufactures building materials and buildings, and a host of other goods and services, and relies on you and I to do our own part.

The hardest thing about having a utopia, or perfect society, is being on the same page with others because people are so different.

Dr Karl made a list of questions to help with this. As a small boy I learned and memorized the list, from my father, and I still remember the list today.

1. What are you trying to make someone do?

2. What could happen?

3. What is wanted (what do you want? What does the other person want?)

4. Why?

5. What is valued?

6. What is being done to get what is wanted?

7. How is it going?

8. What is being learned?

9. What is being celebrated?

The first question, alone, is very telling. What are you trying to make someone do? Can you really make someone do something?

In life, sometimes force is necessary, but it is usually the hardest thing to do and least effective way to do it. For centuries, governments and societies have been run by fear and force, but the lives of many were miserable. Sadly, guns are the most familiar tool used to make someone do something.

But, as difficult as it may appear, the rule of law is still important and some laws will be strictly enforced. (Think about TSA at an airport)

As you go down the list of questions you soon discover that facilitating results is a difficult task.

Try changing the question a little.

What are you trying to ask someone to do?

What could happen?

What is wanted (what do you want? What does the other person want? or Is that what they really want?)

Why?

What is valued?

What is being done to get what is wanted?

How is it going?

What is being learned?

What is being celebrated?

From the two lists of questions we realize that there really is a difference between asking and making.

As facilitators we can encourage or we can enforce. Sometimes we have to do one or the other.

We can request or we can demand. Sometimes both are required.

We can influence or we can incarcerate.

We can persuade or we can pressure.

It would be easy to just say we should encourage, request, influence, or persuade without enforcing, demanding, incarcerating, or pressuring, but, if the first options don't work, we are only left with the alternatives.

The secret is to ask yourself this question: if I don't like being told what to do, am I doing things of my own free will and choice? What kind of member of zootopia am I?

It is better to ask for something, in the beginning, without threatening. Asking doesn't hurt and asking simply goes a long way.  And, decision making, problem solving, and project completing are accomplished, with greater harmony, when we are willing to participate, by just being asked.

Even better, without being asked.

I believe a utopia or "zootopia" is possible! Enjoy the show!

Lost Book

After picking up my daughter, Macee, last Friday, from school, I sensed that she was distressed about something so I ask her what was wrong. She said she felt sick inside because she could not find a book her class had been reading and she needed to turn in her copy. Macee said she remembered taking the book to school but couldn't find it in her locker and wondered if her locker partner had grabbed her copy instead.

I told her not to worry about it, but it bugged her so much all weekend that we went to school early, Monday morning, so Macee could search her mothers car and the Centerville house before she went to school.

After searching through the house, Macee came out of the house with tears running down her checks. I told her not to worry about the book, that we could just buy another one. Macee insisted that her teacher would get mad at her and she just had a strong feeling her locker partner took the book.

On the way to school Macee asked if we could search the car. So we stopped in a parking lot and searched. We didn't find the book, but we did decide to pray to find it. I said a short prayer, asking for help in finding the book, that the Spirit would touch her locker partner in such a way that, if she had taken it, that Macee's locker partner would realize that she had accidentally taken the wrong book.

Within just a few minutes, and just as we arrived at the school, Macee's locker partner texted Macee and announced the she did, in fact, have Macee's book, that she had mistakenly taken it, and that her book was the one that was lost.

As Macee got out of the car, I saw the relief on Macee's face and, although I was happy for my daughter, I told her to remember that sick feeling she had inside, how awful she felt when she thought her book was lost and how awful her locker partner must be feeling now.

I was happy to find out later that Macee's locker partner bravely approached her teacher to tell the teacher about the lost book, only to discover that someone else had turned in the lost book to the teacher.

Although it was a simple thing to pray for, it reaffirmed, to me, the power of prayer. It also reminds us that sorrow is real, and that the sick feeling we sometimes feel inside can be replaced by the sweet feeling of hope.

Sometimes the pain and suffering, we feel, are longer and stronger than we anticipated, but perhaps that is what makes us appreciate moments of relief all the more.

Even in the most basic and trivial of circumstances, we can still call upon the Savior and feel the peace of His presence.

Chutes and Ladders

As a small boy I loved to play the game chutes and ladders.  This board game is still being sold today.  It is a simple game. Players move along a path and randomly encounter a chute or a ladder.  The chutes on the board game look like slides but they are anything but fun.  When the player on the path encounters a chute, he slides backwards instead of forward on the path.  Some of the chutes are short, but some are long, and if the player happens on a long chute, he is set back a great distance on the path.

The good news is that the player often has the opportunity to land on a ladder which he can climb that will advance him forward on the path. The ladders increase his chances to get ahead in the game.

The path of life is filled with many chutes and ladders.  Each day of our lives, we take steps along the path and each day of our lives we encounter these chutes and ladders. 

Like daily deposits and withdrawals in an account, we are either blessed or burdened on a daily basis.  We may get kicked or we may get kissed, depending on the encounter.  We may get a snow cone, or we may get hit with a snow ball.  We may get relief from a water bottle, or we may get hit by a water balloon.  Our daily walk along the path has both stumbling blocks or stepping stones, that is a part of life: we will always face both.

How we react, however, to what crosses our path is the key.

When we complain, what we are usually complaining about has something to do with our circumstances.

What part do we let our circumstances play in our lives? If we allow our circumstances power to control our lives, affect our emotions, and direct our behavior, we become indentured to our circumstances and we usually become victims of our circumstances.

Our level of expectation is usually directed towards our circumstances. We expect circumstances to go a certain way, and if we are preoccupied with circumstances, and if those circumstances don't go the way we expected, we are usually frustrated. In this way we let circumstances color our mood and, in return, color our judgment

The natural man is a man of circumstances.  And the natural man is at enmity with God. The only way to put off the natural man is to yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit. (Mosiah 3:7)

Monetary items and material things are the "things of the world" (D&C 121:45). Just as money cannot buy happiness, we shouldn't let lack of money buy our unhappiness or spoil our happiness.

It is not that circumstances do not play a part in our lives, the key is to realize what part we let them play in our lives and how much we let them influence our happiness and behavior. It isn't easy to "put off" our circumstances, but with the Lord's help we can.

The Savior, after facing the exhausting test of fasting for 40 days and 40 nights and being tempted by the Devil himself, the Savior Jesus Christ faced a great multitude. How he responded to the multitude that crossed his path is both informative and instructive.

"And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him" (Matt 5:1).

The Savior was about to give what some call his greatest sermon, the Sermon on the Mount. Before he taught this great multitude, however, he took a time out, a time away from the masses and went alone into a mountain.

The Saviors reaction was the opposite of acting on impulse,  when he "was set" or settled or grounded, he then was approached by his disciples and he was ready to teach the people.

To be set then is the opposite of acting on impulse.  Acting on impulse is often a reaction, if not an over-reaction to the things we encounter along life's path. 

If we do as the Savior did and set our hearts, we can calmly face life's circumstances, whatever they may be.

WHAT NEXT

Looking at the title of this blog entry, I guess I don't know what is better grammar: What next or What's next.

Perhaps the answer isn't a question of grammar but a question of deeper meaning.  Consider the following thoughts.

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my temple marriage to Shannon.

Today our families will gather to hear my stepson, Austen, share experiences from his mission.

Both of these events, the mission and the marriage, are great achievements for our family.

Great achievements rarely happen by chance, but by choice.

We can choose to let life happen or we can choose to make life happen.

We can live a life of indecision or we can make decisions.

We can live a life of non-goals or we can achieve great things with goals.

Clean doesn't happen by chance, it happens by choice.

We can choose clean or we can choose clutter: Our house doesn't get clean by chance.

Weeds will take over our garden by chance, but we can weed the garden by choice.

We can be victims, as President Wilson calls it, or we can be victors. We have the choice.

We can take action, or we can be acted upon.  We must act and not react.

Perhaps the answer then to the title of this blog is simple: it could be either one.

What next?  or  What's next.  We decide.  It's our choice.

DO IT YOURSELF

I have been busy doing lots of repairs to get my home in Centerville up for sale. After almost 9 months of hard work, my house is on the market!

Most of the projects were do-it-yourself type of projects. But in the end I really needed lots of advice and help from others. My sweet wife Shannon, my brothers, my daughters, my neighbor Dick Johnson, were my go to people for the help I needed. And I really needed their help!

There appears to be something admirable about doing things on our own. The do-it yourself mentality is, for the most part, commendable. If life is really a test, then like most tests, we as test takers must take the test by ourselves. In school we are responsible for our own answers on tests. We take entrance exams to get accepted to college and we take hundreds of exams, in college, to be able to graduate with a degree. Many professions have aptitude tests that are required before being accepted or admitted into those professions. We even take a driving test, on our own, to get a license to drive.

 
If we aren’t careful, however, we may assume that we are here on earth to fend for ourselves.

Somehow many of us seem to have adopted the notion, and therefore feel the need to perpetuate the false notion, that we are to work our way through life on our own, by our own power and strength, forging our own success, through our own efforts, without the need or help of others.

Wasn’t that the philosophy of Korihor? Didn’t the Book of Mormon Anti-Christ argue “that every man fared in this life according to the management of the creature; therefore every man prospered according to his genius, and that every man conquered according to his strength.” (Alma 30:44)?

According to Korihor, there was no need for God in the world because, man was capable, if not expected, to handle life on his own, and conquer “according to his own strength.”

Perhaps there is a deeper question we must ask. How much of life do I have control over and how much of life is out of my control? To put it in a more spiritual context, how much does God participate in my life and how much of my life am I on my own?

If we adopt the Korihor conclusion we would conclude that God isn’t involved in the details of our lives, in fact if there is a God, He isn’t influencing or intervening in our lives at all. Even those who may believe in God may foolishly assume that, like learning to ride a bike, once we have got the hang of it, we are on our own. 

The answer to question is found in the Atonement of Jesus Christ. The atonement is the greatest act of Divine intervention the world has ever known. Christ redeemed us from the fall and from sin, because we couldn’t do it on our own. Life certainly is about learning, and sometimes learning things the hard way, but Christ’s involvement provides the mercy and the tender mercies that only the Son of God can provide. His grace is sufficient and necessary for our salvation. “We are saved by grace after all we can do.” (2 Nephi 25:23)

If we trust in the Lord with all our hearts, He will direct our paths. This promise is a promise of divine participation. God’s tender mercies and answers to prayers are available to those who put their faith and trust in Him.

Here are a few other thoughts I posted on Facebook.

It is easy to equate that so much of our unhappiness is due to our poor choices, but it is hard for us to admit it. Admit your mistakes or you may make them again, learn from mistakes or you'll undoubtedly repeat them.

We are often puzzled by habits and vices that seem so subconscious. The subconscious riddle is no longer a riddle when we realize that although we have a subconscious, a subconscious that has preprogrammed behaviors: behaviors that seem automatic and we are often unaware of them, that we, with the Lord's help, can alter these behaviors and change our very nature.

Often we think of selfishness as a person only thinking of himself or not wanting to share. But selfishness also includes taking from, using, and even abusing others. Stealing, for example, is really a form of selfishness. As is borrowing, without returning. Another example of selfishness is a person playing the victim, feeling sorry for himself, or always being worried about how he appears to others or what other people think. Even lying is a form of selfishness. Perhaps a more subtle form of dishonesty and yet another form of selfishness is the pervasive way people hear only what they want to hear and ignore or deny the truth when the truth is presented to them. So self absorbed in their own view of the world that they ignore clear warnings set before them. This is still dishonesty and it is still selfishness.

The need to buy can be as addicting as the need to gamble. Certain types of buying can produce mood altering hormones that stimulate the pleasure regions of the brain. Buying never buys happiness, however, and the constant pursuit of purchases can become all consuming. Beware of the urgent need to buy. Unscrupulous salesmen prey on it and marriages can be devastated because of it. The question of what we buy may not be as important as the deeper question of why we buy.

When someone emotionally disconnects, detaches, or distances themselves from others, it is like they are emotionally preoccupied: like their mind and heart are somewhere else. The emotional distraction is painfully evident with an overwhelming feeling of emptiness and silence between us. It is as though they have stopped emotionally paying attention and are aloof in their own emotional world. Sometimes I call this "Into the woods", not so much as a reference to the musical or a metaphor about emotional distance, but those who are lost in the woods have both left us emotionally and maybe, just maybe, they are truly emotionally lost and don't even know it. Whatever the reason, when we lose emotional connections to others it feels like we have lost a part of us

The world is full of so much noise it affects the mind. The mind, itself, is full of a kind of noise that keeps us from listening, and if we are listening, from truly understanding the mind and will of the Lord . Understanding the mind and will of the Lord requires a still heart to hear the still small voice. "Be still, the Savior beckons, and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10). His words and will come often as a whisper.

It takes faith to understand the word of God. As faith in God takes hold of ones heart, the heart begins to understand, more fully, the word of God. As the eyes of our understanding are opened, our knowledge grows and our faith grows along with it. Faith, then, is the first principle of knowledge.

Finally, here is a quote I read in the Priesthood lesson manual. 

" It is a great blessing to have an inner peace, to have an assurance, to have a spirit of serenity and inward calm during times of strife and struggle, during times of sorrow and reverses. It is soul-satisfying to know that God is at the helm, that He is mindful of His children, and that we can with full confidence place our trust in Him." Ezra Taft Benson.

Home for Christmas

My oldest daughter, McKenna, just returned from China. She is home for Christmas after 4 amazing months of teaching English and touring China. She missed home while she was away, but now she misses the sweet children of China.

In her own words, here is a glimpse of what McKenna discovered in China:

Tomorrow is my last full day at the school. By Tuesday, I head to Shanghai to go home. I can't believe how fast my time flew, and my heart is in pieces having to leave my china life behind. I've learned so much about how to better myself gradually every day. I'm incredibly grateful for the experiences I've had and the friendships I will cherish for the rest of my life. This was my first time living away from home, and it has taught me about responsibility and liability. The kids and my roommates taught me to love unconditionally. And China taught me that life's okay. I'm okay and I will be okay. No matter the circumstances, I can get through it. Not only have I learned while being in China, I grew, lived, and loved.
I guess you could say,
I was Made In China.

I am so proud of my daughter and I know that her Father in Heaven is proud of her too.

Some additional thoughts I have had the past few weeks:

Early morning hours often give us more time to think. The dark and quiet walls of this house provide a moment of peace and contemplation. A chance to ponder and pray and reflect on so many things I am grateful for and all those that I love. Happiness comes from the simple things, and I thank a loving Heavenly Father for so many of them.

More often than not, the secret to happiness is appreciating what you have.

Sometimes we forget that life is full of hard trials and few escape this. Like the changing seasons, trials often come in phases. In your season of trial, never doubt that God both recognizes your suffering and waits to comfort you. Trust God and turn to Him, accepting adversity, not as fate, but as a crucial part of a divinely ordained plan. It may not ease the pain, entirely, but it gives purpose to your suffering. Then, when the hardship passes and the harsh season has ended, you too will testify that a merciful and loving God never abandoned you.

There will always be those who complain when it rains or when it snows or when the wind blows. There will be plenty of missed green lights and long waits at red lights. There will be plenty of spills on new shirts or clean carpets. Your favorite teams may even lose, your stocks may go down, your taxes go up. You may have back aches or head aches or constant other aches, but life isn't about conditions or consequences. You have a choice. You can choose to concentrate, too much, on all the negative conditions around you, or you can choose to fall in love with the people and positive things that surround you. It's your choice.

As often as we are encouraged to ask and answer the following question "What would Jesus do?", at this time of year we might also add an additional question: "What do you do for others?" The answer might be as startling as the question. ‪#‎whatcanidoforyou?

Having good manners is more than simply please and thank you: it’s how we behave around others and how we treat others. Being a peacemaker includes good manners, but it requires so much more. Those who strive to be peacemakers don’t try to cause arguments or contention; they avoid lashing out or yelling. They don’t swear at or swear around others. They avoid being cruel or hurtful in speech and action. They are positive even when situations seem negative. They are watchful with what they say and do, not because they are afraid of others, but because they aspire to a higher level of kindness. A peacemaker never mocks or pokes fun of others, but always wants to err on the side of kindness and generosity towards all those that they might meet. The peacemaker is full of Christmas cheer, love and compassion, because they understand that peace and joy and love are worth every effort and every sacrifice. Fill someone's heart with these gifts this Christmas. You will be much happier, and so will they.

If we, in the exercise of our faith, base our faith in conditions or results, our faith may be shaken if the conditions or results don't go according to our plans or desires. But when we place our faith in Jesus Christ, and exercise faith and trust in Him, our faith is strengthened whatever the outcome may be

I have hope in the final outcome because I have faith and hope in Jesus Christ. He is the perfect brightness of hope!

Merry Christmas!