Someone Stopped to Listen

Yesterday I arrived early to the adult session of Stake Conference.  I found a seat on the last bench in the chapel.  As I tried to make myself comfortable, it became obvious to me and to others that I had come alone.  

I watched for over a half hour as couple after couple entered the room.  Occasionally a few widows from my ward would pass me, but mostly it was married couples that made their way, together, into the chapel.

Across the chapel, and entering from different locations, I recognized several familiar faces.  I saw many faces of people who had passed my way in life. 

Well the meeting started and I continued to sit alone. The Spirit was sweet as we listened to the various speakers. Then one of the counselors in the Stake Presidency spoke about the Good Samaritan, showed a church video adaptation of the story, and then asked for members of the congregation to give examples from their own life.

I was prompted to comment, but I did not. Immediately my mind was flooded with the Spirit and I began to tear up.  “You are not alone,” came the soft sweet voice.  “For tonight you are surrounded by friends.”

  

If I had been given a chance to bear testimony about a Samaritan moment in my life I would not have been able to choose just one, for in that very audience were many people who had been Samaritans to me.

  

In that room was a quorum member who didn't really know me, but during my darkest hours, would somehow know the right Friday to call me up and ask me to lunch.  In that room was a sweet couple who had practically adopted me as a son and contacted me daily to talk and to listen.  In that very room was a home teacher who faithfully came regularly and gave more than just lessons.  He also had been through a divorce, but was happily remarried and provided encouragement and hope during my most painful moments.

Samaritans come into our lives for many reasons, but the lesson I learned that night was that Good Samaritans listen.  They listen to the Spirit to know when to stop and save souls.  But they are also there to listen to those who are lost, broken and hurting. 

We live in an age where communication tools are so prevalent, but are we passing by without paying attention, are we passing up opportunities to really opening up our hearts to hear those who sometimes just need someone to talk to--they just need someone to listen.

Before the meeting a former member of my ward did stop to ask how I was doing.  Birth had deprived her of some mental faculties and her ability to communicate was clearly impaired, but her heart was pure and her loving kindness was apparent as she asked how I was coping and wanted me to know that she cared so much and wanted to help in any way.  

I left the meeting alone but I left the meeting rejuvenated by the memories of true friends and the message from the speakers and the Spirit that we can mourn with those who mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort, if we do as the Samaritan and the Savior did, and stop and listen.

To Robert

Sunday morning, December 30th around 9am a homeless man died in my parents home of health complications. Robert was only 52. My mother had taken him in since April. He had been divorced twice and his second wife had just remarried. He had children from both marriages that he rarely got to see. Robert died as much from a broken heart as a failed heart. 

He served his country for years in uniform, and was helpful to my mother as a handy man doing odd jobs to help around the house. When I arrived at the scene, several police cars parked along the road and the officers inside the house asked questions, took pictures, finally carried out the body and left. We were left with lots of questions, lots of tears, and lots of quiet moments of reflection. We reflected on the few good moments with this humble man, and realized he was "one of the least of these". 

May Robert's memory forever remind us that people need love and attention and help and understanding. No one is perfect, but no one should be left behind or alone. I spent enough time with Robert to know him well enough to miss him, and long enough to realize his life was cut short and he missed out on many of the good things life has to offer. His life now is in God's hands, the same God who holds our lives in His hands and holds us accountable for what we do with our life.

To Robert

The Have To's and the Want To's

Desires and passions can be positive pressure in our lives. Positive pressure provides motivation, increased ambition and true devotion.  It is opposite of negative pressure.  You can often tell the difference by how you answer the want to/have to questions.

Do I have to go to church?  Negative pressure. Do I want to go church? Positive pressure.

Do I have to celebrate Christmas and open lots of presents? Do I have inherit a million dollars?  The answers to these questions seem pretty silly because the positives should outweigh the negatives in the above sentences. The want to's should outweigh the have to's.

Isn't it sad that some people feel like they have to follow the Savior?  It really is like someone complaining that they have to wear oven mitts to take freshly baked cookies, on a hot cookie tray, out of a hot oven. We should want to follow the Savior just as we would want to protect our hands from getting burned and enjoy homemade cookies!

Isn't it about time to turn the have to's in our lives into the want to's? Let's start with the Savior and his gospel. Do we want to go to church, keep the commandments, repent of our sins?  Do we want to be baptized, be conferred the gift of the Holy Ghost and renew our sacred covenants thru  meaningfully partaking of the sacrament each week?  Do we want to serve a mission, remain chaste before a temple marriage and perfectly faithful after our temple marriage ceremony?  Do we want to have children, spend time with our family, read the scriptures together, and work to provide the necessities of life, or have the have to's negatively stolen our peace and happiness by poisoning us with negative pressure and negative feelings?

If we are constantly complaining about what we have to do we need to pray to the Lord for help and for a change of heart. With a want-to mighty change of heart, we can use the power of faith and positive pressure in our lives to move mountains.  When we understand the power of a mighty change of heart we can understand the following scriptures more fully.

"They had no more desire to do evil but to do good continually." Alma 19:33 see Mosiah Chapters 1-6.

"For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance." D & C 1:31

Perhaps the one that came running, and knelt before the Savior and asked "Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?", then when asked to sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.", felt the negative pressure of the have to's instead of the want to's to forsake all. See Mark 10:21-22. 

In contrast the Lamanite king that wanted eternal life and joy so much that he said "I will forsake my kingdom, that I may receive this great joy."

and then prayed, “O God, I will give away all my sins to know thee." Alma 22:18

A slight change in the following primary song, sung at the right moment in our lives, might make a difference between the want to's and the have to's.

"If you chance to meet a have to, do not let it stay, quickly turn it upside down and want that have to away."

May our hearts constantly reflect a willingness to know the will of God and to do His will.

Let us want to love and serve God with all our heart might mind and strength is my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Thoughts from Facebook

It has been over a month since my last entry on this blog.  Instead of blogging I found myself writing down thoughts and posting them on my Facebook page.  Here are a few of those entries:

I believe the central message of the story of the musical I watched last night is that lasting love requires real trust which requires complete honesty which requires deep open communication which requires a pure heart with nothing to hide, holds nothing back, and does not have to or want to lie to anyone about anything.

God expand our capacity to bear one another’s burdens in addition to our own. Some people are hit with such devastating pain that they can hardly function. As we seek to easy their pain, let us appreciate more fully the incomprehensible pain Christ suffered for us, to save us and bear our burdens.

In His darkest hour and the agony of His Gethsemane, He did not abandon us then, why would He abandon us now?

Trusting in the Lord sometimes requires that we trust that He chooses to tell us the truth thru other people. 3 sessions of conference later I am more convinced that I am not a sheep being led by blind guides but a son of God and a member of a church lead by men and women of God. My testimony is a gift from God. A cherished gift, blessed by the testimonies of others who also were given this gift. It truly is a gift!

Life will always be busy. Life will always be complicated. There will always be trials. There will always be drama. Contentment is not looking for happiness around the corner, it is embracing the present and wrapping your arms around all the little blessings that surround you.

Life is ultimately about what you know, how you live, who you are, and if you loved. So learn, live, laugh, and love and life will bless you with abundance.

My deepest desire is to be close enough to heaven to recognize the guiding messages and tender promptings that come from a loving God who has patiently waited, with open arms, for me to correct the many mistakes I have made and the disappointing detours I have taken. No matter how faint His voice or how foolish my endeavors, He keeps His promises when I keep His commandments. How priceless is His kindness.

Tomorrow is defined by the minutes lived today. So live today as God intended, full of love and good cheer. And when tomorrow meets you, no matter how difficult the day, it will know you are a good soul and celebrate having passed your way.

i can enjoy Hawaii today because brave men and women paid the ultimate price in defending it. I can worship God, according to the dictates of my own conscience, because patriots and pioneers paid a bitter price to preserve it. I can have the hope of eternity with my family because my Savior redeemed my soul with innocent blood. May my own sacrifices be an expression of my deepest, deepest gratitude.

My life has meaning and purpose because my love for God and knowledge that He lives confirms my belief that families can be together forever. I am so grateful for my little women and the smiles that they bring. Life is too short not to hold them, hold on to them & tell them that I love them. May I serve them & love them all the days of my life & to my dying breath defend the truth that I know that my Redeemer lives!

Although the tradition is to bless the children before school, the overwhelming feeling, this father experienced, is that these children, these precious angels, are the real blessing.

47 years ago tomorrow i started my journey through mortality. Since that time i have served a mission, graduated from college and met and married a beautiful woman. Together we have three beautiful girls. I have been so very blessed! Things are different now. But God has made up the difference. In fact, God has made all the difference! If the future is anything like the past, it will be because God is in the details. I will praise Him all the remainder of my days! My life is filled with so much joy because I know that my Redeemer lives!

  

God Always Knew

God always knew there would be an Act Two
Intermission is almost over

Still Sailing

Sometimes I feel a lot like Gilligan.

It was suppose to be only a three hour tour. Instead it became a three year ordeal. Three years ago, my wife and our three girls, my wife’s parents, two of her sisters and their husbands, and some of my daughters cousins, all took a Baja cruise together. It was a wonderful yet fateful voyage. The cruise was a blast, but only a few days after the trip, my marriage ship hit an iceberg and never recovered.

It seems like yesterday, but the past three years have gone slowly and have been anything but a pleasure cruise.

Tomorrow my daughters and I are headed back to California for another cruise. We will all miss Nancie. She has been a good wife and mother, but her ship sailed three years ago and it has not ever come back.

So this trip, if only symbolically, will be the beginning of a new voyage and future for me. I have faith and trust that God will help me find ways to make this life time voyage a better experience for me and for the girls. Of course there will still be struggles and trials, they are a part of life, but as the old saying goes “smooth sailing never a strong sailor makes”.

Sometimes we just need to pull into a port and take time to think. Time in the center of the whale did Jonah some good. Time in the center of my situation also helped me get a better perspective.

The time in your whale may only be 3 days, or maybe even just three hours, but if, like me, the time period to contemplate where you were and where you are going takes longer, (for me, 3 years and counting), the Lord provides a great deal of help and insight into what you need to do to change. His perfect plan is full of ways to remodel your soul from the ground up.

So now begins the journey. Farewell past! Bon voyage to what was and what might have been. Let’s start sailing towards a better tomorrow, and that ship is leaving NOW!

(Speaking of oceans and boating, here are some reposts of several poems I wrote that make reference to boats, oceans etc.)

A Beacon from the Shore
by Kelly Silvester

When life gets oh so busy that you don't have time to think
And life's demands so hectic that you'll either swim or sink

Stop and take a moment and assess the course you're on
And maybe then you'll realize where others have gone wrong.

Life's full of sea fairing sailors who set sail without a map
And rush about the ocean seeking whatever they can catch.

Oh some return successful with their vessels filled with gold
But most get lost and shipwrecked from the storms and wind and cold.

But there are lights that can be seen even in the darkest night
That keep a sailor safe and sure and provide a guidling light.

A lighthouse sends a warning of the dangers found below
But also gives the sailor a hopeful way back home.

See although it isn't flashy there's another light inside
At the center of the beacon that really is the guide.

And if the weary sailor keeps his eye upon that light
The light will never fail him and he'll make it back alright.

It doesn't take a lighthouse to be a shinning light
I know of one wise sailor who has guided all his life.

My grandpa was always by my side through all the thick and thin
He was a light, an anchor even when I didn't win.

And although he wasn't flashy his light was sure and true
And he'll always go on guiding until we make it through.

So when life gets oh so busy that you don't have time to think
And life's demand so hectic, you'll either swim or sink.

Stop and take a moment and find that light once more
For you'll never ever perish with a beacon from the shore.

Priceless Gifts from the Sea
by Kelly Silvester

Some set sail on an ocean of words
And cast their nets to the sea.

But the soft soaked sand of a tide bound beach
Is the best searching place for me.

Some find success with their nets and their hooks
Along with their rig and their gear.

But I find truth from the simplest sounds
Of shells held close to my ear.

Although the size of their catch is great
And a fine purse they'll get for their trade.

The pile of mine wouldn't earn me a dime
But I'm not finding shells to get paid.

The worth of a truth isn't found in its price
Whatever the market may be.

Truths are like treasures we find on a shore
They are priceless gifts from the sea.

Someday Isle
by Kelly Silvester

I charted a ship to Someday Isle
and dreamed of a glorious paradise sun.

I set my sails high and manned the wheel
I hoped for a fast wind and a strong run.

I’d heard of the treasures on Someday Isle
and dreamed of great riches and fame.

So I sold all I had for my boat and supplies
but I knew all my wealth I’d regain.

The voyage was rugged, the waves were quite rough
and at times I thought all was lost.

But I held on to that wheel and forged on ahead
“I’ll make it, regardless the cost”

One day I spotted dry land close ahead,
So I set my sails high once more.

I didn’t steer clear, enough of the reef
and I crashed far from the shore.

I’m stranded here now on Someday Isle
with no hope of rescue in sight.

But someday, I’ll make it back home to the shore
and tell of my terrible plight.

Life is a voyage of jewels and success
the foolish sailor will say.

But I realize the real jewel now
is the time that I spend with today!

Protect Your Belongings

Normally I ramble on about topics that interest me and hopefully speak the feelings of my heart. Hopefully the content of this blog touches lives for good.

There is a danger in sharing what I think or feel on this or any website. Sadly, there are people in the world that would rather spread poison than the fruits of peace and would attack me and my views, rather than ponder them. Because I have made my fair share of rude remarks on posts, texts, tweets, and blogs, I subject myself to the same sad commentary and scrutiny, and sorrowfully admit and apologize for my own jerkfullness.

Posion doesn't always come in the form of words. Recently I went out to my Honda, parked in a hotel parking lot, and found that my passenger window had been smashed and my laptops, scanner, and printer had been stolen. It was a Sunday morning. I called the police. They came and i quielty filled out a report, brushed the broken glass of my drivers seat, and drove to church.

Human beings are good at wrecking lives. But I want to be a part of the minority that tries to forge friendships, extends peace offerings, and simply loves and smiles a lot.

We sang Scatter Sunshine in church that Sunday morning. Although I had lost prize possessions, including hundreds of manuscript pages on my hard drives, I was determined to scatter some sunshine, and not to let the theives break into my heart and steal my love of life, others, and Jesus Christ.

Our own neglect is perhaps the worst poison. Hindsight demands that i recognize that I really shouldn't have left my valuables in the car in the first place. Eventually my computer equipment will be replaced. But what about the damage caused by neglecting close relationships?

To my family, friends, especially my wife and daughters, the broken window is instructive. Many years of neglect have left the broken pieces of my shattered glass all over the place. My own smash and grab mentality, over the years, cost me my closest and sweetest relationship. And that is something I will live with and remember all the rest of my life.

Still there is sunshine in my soul. I have sincere hope and faith in Jesus Christ that someday He will forgive me, and all those whose lives I have destroyed will forgive me as well. Mending hearts won't happen overnight, but with Christ's amazing grace, hearts can heal and lives can move forward.

Protect your belongings. They are everything.