God Always Knew

God always knew there would be an Act Two
Intermission is almost over

Still Sailing

Sometimes I feel a lot like Gilligan.

It was suppose to be only a three hour tour. Instead it became a three year ordeal. Three years ago, my wife and our three girls, my wife’s parents, two of her sisters and their husbands, and some of my daughters cousins, all took a Baja cruise together. It was a wonderful yet fateful voyage. The cruise was a blast, but only a few days after the trip, my marriage ship hit an iceberg and never recovered.

It seems like yesterday, but the past three years have gone slowly and have been anything but a pleasure cruise.

Tomorrow my daughters and I are headed back to California for another cruise. We will all miss Nancie. She has been a good wife and mother, but her ship sailed three years ago and it has not ever come back.

So this trip, if only symbolically, will be the beginning of a new voyage and future for me. I have faith and trust that God will help me find ways to make this life time voyage a better experience for me and for the girls. Of course there will still be struggles and trials, they are a part of life, but as the old saying goes “smooth sailing never a strong sailor makes”.

Sometimes we just need to pull into a port and take time to think. Time in the center of the whale did Jonah some good. Time in the center of my situation also helped me get a better perspective.

The time in your whale may only be 3 days, or maybe even just three hours, but if, like me, the time period to contemplate where you were and where you are going takes longer, (for me, 3 years and counting), the Lord provides a great deal of help and insight into what you need to do to change. His perfect plan is full of ways to remodel your soul from the ground up.

So now begins the journey. Farewell past! Bon voyage to what was and what might have been. Let’s start sailing towards a better tomorrow, and that ship is leaving NOW!

(Speaking of oceans and boating, here are some reposts of several poems I wrote that make reference to boats, oceans etc.)

A Beacon from the Shore
by Kelly Silvester

When life gets oh so busy that you don't have time to think
And life's demands so hectic that you'll either swim or sink

Stop and take a moment and assess the course you're on
And maybe then you'll realize where others have gone wrong.

Life's full of sea fairing sailors who set sail without a map
And rush about the ocean seeking whatever they can catch.

Oh some return successful with their vessels filled with gold
But most get lost and shipwrecked from the storms and wind and cold.

But there are lights that can be seen even in the darkest night
That keep a sailor safe and sure and provide a guidling light.

A lighthouse sends a warning of the dangers found below
But also gives the sailor a hopeful way back home.

See although it isn't flashy there's another light inside
At the center of the beacon that really is the guide.

And if the weary sailor keeps his eye upon that light
The light will never fail him and he'll make it back alright.

It doesn't take a lighthouse to be a shinning light
I know of one wise sailor who has guided all his life.

My grandpa was always by my side through all the thick and thin
He was a light, an anchor even when I didn't win.

And although he wasn't flashy his light was sure and true
And he'll always go on guiding until we make it through.

So when life gets oh so busy that you don't have time to think
And life's demand so hectic, you'll either swim or sink.

Stop and take a moment and find that light once more
For you'll never ever perish with a beacon from the shore.

Priceless Gifts from the Sea
by Kelly Silvester

Some set sail on an ocean of words
And cast their nets to the sea.

But the soft soaked sand of a tide bound beach
Is the best searching place for me.

Some find success with their nets and their hooks
Along with their rig and their gear.

But I find truth from the simplest sounds
Of shells held close to my ear.

Although the size of their catch is great
And a fine purse they'll get for their trade.

The pile of mine wouldn't earn me a dime
But I'm not finding shells to get paid.

The worth of a truth isn't found in its price
Whatever the market may be.

Truths are like treasures we find on a shore
They are priceless gifts from the sea.

Someday Isle
by Kelly Silvester

I charted a ship to Someday Isle
and dreamed of a glorious paradise sun.

I set my sails high and manned the wheel
I hoped for a fast wind and a strong run.

I’d heard of the treasures on Someday Isle
and dreamed of great riches and fame.

So I sold all I had for my boat and supplies
but I knew all my wealth I’d regain.

The voyage was rugged, the waves were quite rough
and at times I thought all was lost.

But I held on to that wheel and forged on ahead
“I’ll make it, regardless the cost”

One day I spotted dry land close ahead,
So I set my sails high once more.

I didn’t steer clear, enough of the reef
and I crashed far from the shore.

I’m stranded here now on Someday Isle
with no hope of rescue in sight.

But someday, I’ll make it back home to the shore
and tell of my terrible plight.

Life is a voyage of jewels and success
the foolish sailor will say.

But I realize the real jewel now
is the time that I spend with today!

Protect Your Belongings

Normally I ramble on about topics that interest me and hopefully speak the feelings of my heart. Hopefully the content of this blog touches lives for good.

There is a danger in sharing what I think or feel on this or any website. Sadly, there are people in the world that would rather spread poison than the fruits of peace and would attack me and my views, rather than ponder them. Because I have made my fair share of rude remarks on posts, texts, tweets, and blogs, I subject myself to the same sad commentary and scrutiny, and sorrowfully admit and apologize for my own jerkfullness.

Posion doesn't always come in the form of words. Recently I went out to my Honda, parked in a hotel parking lot, and found that my passenger window had been smashed and my laptops, scanner, and printer had been stolen. It was a Sunday morning. I called the police. They came and i quielty filled out a report, brushed the broken glass of my drivers seat, and drove to church.

Human beings are good at wrecking lives. But I want to be a part of the minority that tries to forge friendships, extends peace offerings, and simply loves and smiles a lot.

We sang Scatter Sunshine in church that Sunday morning. Although I had lost prize possessions, including hundreds of manuscript pages on my hard drives, I was determined to scatter some sunshine, and not to let the theives break into my heart and steal my love of life, others, and Jesus Christ.

Our own neglect is perhaps the worst poison. Hindsight demands that i recognize that I really shouldn't have left my valuables in the car in the first place. Eventually my computer equipment will be replaced. But what about the damage caused by neglecting close relationships?

To my family, friends, especially my wife and daughters, the broken window is instructive. Many years of neglect have left the broken pieces of my shattered glass all over the place. My own smash and grab mentality, over the years, cost me my closest and sweetest relationship. And that is something I will live with and remember all the rest of my life.

Still there is sunshine in my soul. I have sincere hope and faith in Jesus Christ that someday He will forgive me, and all those whose lives I have destroyed will forgive me as well. Mending hearts won't happen overnight, but with Christ's amazing grace, hearts can heal and lives can move forward.

Protect your belongings. They are everything.

The Many Major and Minor Mistakes of Man

It's Olympics time again! Watch even just a few minutes on television or the Internet and you realize that these are no ordinary human beings. Each athlete pushes the envelop of his or her sport. They are the quintessence of near perfection. But as the saying goes, nobody is perfect. And a bronze, or no medal at all, indicates some kind of error, some kind of misstep, or that, ever so unfortunate, someone else is faster, stronger, or just a hair better than you are.

But even for the Olympian, the old adage is also true: It isn't whether you win or lose it is how you play the game. Perhaps we can change that statement to read: It isn't whether you win or lose but that you tried, and that you tried your very best! There is triumph in trying! The ultimate medal is the personal reward that you get when you know you gave it your all.

But there are also unspoken players in each Olympic Games. The attention is all on the athletes, but the respect also must go to the coaches and judges. These men and women are also at the top of their game, for an entirely different reason. It is their expertise and skill set that also sets them apart from the entire human race. Quite frankly it is their knowledge and skills that got the young athletes to the Olympics in the first place, and ultimately decides who really is the best of the best.

The Olympics reminds us that the pursuit of perfection is possible and that intense practice is necessary. But the Olympics also teach us something else that is very important and often overlooked. The Olympic games teach us that by listening to coaches and judges we can overcome mistakes.

Like everything else in life, there are major and minor mistakes that athletes make. There are many major and minor mistakes that we all, as mortals, make. It is humanly impossible to avoid making mistakes, period. But that isn't where the focus should be, because that equates to too much pressure. The focus on mistake making should really be on these three ideas in this statement: How do i learn from my mistakes, correct my mistakes, and make as few mistakes, next time, as possible. That is how the Olympic Athletes do it and that is how we can do it.

We have a unique kind of coach and judge or coaches and judges in our lives. Prophets and Apostles are the divine authority on earth. Believe that. Believe that, and like the coaches and the judges of the Olympics,respect that. And know that these men only have your best interest at heart. They love you and advise you, on behalf of Jesus Christ, because they, including the Savior, and our Heavenly Father, want to see you succeed!

So the next time a coach or judge points out a mistake, thank him and "receive it with gladness" because that is the sure road to perfection.

Opening the Blinds

What matters most to you? 

What are your highest priorities?

Priorities come from values and from perspective. Normally the higher we value something the higher its priority. Perspective helps us see clearly to be able to wisely adjust our priorities especially when we have a conflict of values or we are confused as to what is really important or what should matter most.  When we are able to see clearly and correctly and can prioritize all of our priorities, we are better equipped at seeing right from wrong, recognizing the difference between good and evil, and are more likely to choose the ways of the Lord over the ways of the world.

The ways of the world are full of false, vain, and foolish notions.  These can affect the way we view the world.  Sometimes our own priorities are not based on reality.  We follow the dictates of our imagination and fantasize about perceived things rather than real things.   We begin to pursue foolish pleasures at the expense of real joy. We get so swept up in the thrill of the great and spacious building that we fail to realize that this building, no matter how big, is, in fact, an illusion.  It has no foundation of truth, it is a facade, and it will never last.

In our daily crossroads, when we are torn between being in the world or of the world, let us choose the right between the two options.   Let us begin by telling ourselves to take the higher road.  The higher road is a real road towards righteousness, not an easy, superficial path.

Taking the higher road includes trusting in the Lord with all of our hearts, not leaning too much on our own understanding. If we do this, the promise is that God shall direct our paths.

Why do we take the broad roads and detour from the straight and narrow path? Why is it so easy to take the road of least resistance?

Like fog on the freeway, we can let the influences of the world cloud our thinking, direct our decisions, and deceive us. We are blinded by the vanity and lies of the world. We are blinded by the craftiness of men.

What does it mean to be blinded by the subtle craftiness of men? One answer might be this: when we don’t take the higher road and we fail to trust in the Lord with all our hearts, we become more vulnerable to the cunning wiles of the adversary.  The devil is the ultimate liar and uses lies and the lies of others to deceive us in subtle, sometimes hardly detectable, ways.  Like the famous Trojan Horse of Troy, we can easily be deceived when what appears to be of value hides the truth. 

Flattery, for example is a Trojan Horse of Troy. It is easy to be swept up in flattering words. We are seduced by the statements of others and the slogans of the world.  When we do this, we trust others instead of trusting God.

The scriptures warn us that even the very elected will be deceived.  More often than not, when the very elect are deceived they usually don’t even know it.  That is how deception works.  You think you are aware of what is going on but you don’t know what you don’t know.

Still, no matter how we are deceived or how deceived we are, we are still personally responsible for everything with think, say or do. We are fully responsible for everything we do even if we aren’t always fully aware of what or why we do what we do. Let me repeat that: we are fully responsible for everything we do even if we aren’t always fully aware of what or why we do what we do. There are errors of commission but there are also errors of omission.

Ignorance and blindness are not excusable.

       Thankfully, the Lord can rescue us from the blind state of deception.  But we first need to turn to him in prayer.

Prayer is like opening blinds or curtains: you have to do your part to let the light shine in.

Opening the blinds is like opening our heart. We must do our part to open our heart and then He will impart.

Opening our heart is a form of trusting. When we give all of our heart to God, holding nothing back, nothing wavering, He then can move mountains in our behalf. Some of the greatest words ever written are these. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths.”

More often than not our “own understanding” is foolishness. Of all things that foolishness represents, lack of wisdom, purpose and direction, sum up a great deal of our foolishness behaviors.

Because we tend to be foolish, we should constantly seek His wisdom. “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God,” who giveth liberally to all who ask in faith.

Understanding these two concepts: wisdom and foolishness, are so important for eternal progression.

The scriptures are full of references to wisdom and foolishness. But what really is foolishness?

Sometimes our foolishness is based on ignorance and inexperience.  We make mistakes because we do not have all the information.  Once we are informed, educated, and corrected, the foolishness goes away because we now know the difference.

But sometimes our foolishness is based on false information we have adopted as truth.  These fallacies are blinding because we think we are learned and we think we know.  This makes it easy to think we know better and we think we are right.  But really we stubbornly hold on to false concepts because we don’t know any better.  “When they are learned they think they are wise”

And sometimes these false concepts are deep seated notions lurking beneath our consciousness.

Just as we have stewardship over our own body, we also have stewardship over our subconscious self.  Our subconscious side also operates within its own subconscious script.  This subconscious script or sub script is also a belief script. Every day of our life, we record thoughts, events, ideas and images, all written on our sub script.  We inadvertently and subconsciously hold on to these ideas and images as truth.

However, the truth is, more often than not, we let our subconscious side have too much say or sway in our lives.  When fear is subconscious, we react to things fearfully.  When doubt is subconscious, we react to things doubtfully.

We also do things automatically or semi automatically and when things go wrong we often look for someone else to blame. Or we blame the circumstances.

We also claim some behaviors are just human nature; that they are natural or normal behavior, when what it might be is our subconscious side showing.  We think we are acting naturally, but we are really acting out our subconscious definition of reality.

Some people claim we all have a dark side but this is not true, we may have subconscious side that for some may appear dark because it is often mysterious, or unbridled, or even worse, polluted or corrupted, but it is not an evil or dark side by destiny.  As innocent children, we came into this world clean and pure. As children of God, we all have divinity within us and our task is to develop that side of us as we try to understand and manage the subconscious side of our souls.

However, because we only have so much time in the day, we should avoid too much of our agency, energy, and attention on subconscious things. We can get Martha-like anxiety over our anxieties and overlook the better part of our personality, behavior, and character.  Of course, habits need to be recognized and often changed. But, more often than not, breaking habits is a time sensitive process, and futile attempts at change are often the result of over exaggerated, over emphasized attention and obsession. Just as a person can dwell too much on the past, a person can dwell too much on the subconscious.

The opposite is also true. A person can pay too little attention to the subconscious side and habits, idiosyncrasies, and especially obsessions, compulsions, and addictions, can control and consume them.

The foolish man or woman builds his or her house on the sands of subconscious impulses.  The wise man or woman builds his or her house on the rock of Divine revelation.

For purposes known only to the Creator, He created man, and the many facets of who we are. He knows that we can develop weaknesses in many areas, even subconscious areas. But He can show us these weaknesses and, if we are humble, his grace is sufficient to make weaknesses, even subconscious weaknesses into strengths.

But just as we don’t expected God to do everything for us, there are some things we need to change on our own.

And that is sometimes the tricky part: recognizing what we need to change and figuring out how to go about changing it.

No one wants to admit to weaknesses even subconscious weaknesses and perhaps the subconscious ones are the most sensitive and hardest to admit to. This is partially true because by nature of the very name we have designated for them: unconscious.  Very often, we are unconscious of these types if weaknesses and shortcomings in our subconscious.

Some weaknesses take years even decades to recognize and admit to.  Over time, our loving Father in Heaven delicately and slowly shows us our weaknesses, here a little, there a little, when we are ready, and when we are humble enough and meek enough to handle it.

Scientists, philosophers, religionists, new age authors and other writers have tried to crack the subconscious code for centuries.  I don’t claim to have the answers but I do recognize that both dimensions exist.  I also recognize that the line is often blurred between what is conscious and what is subconscious.  I tend to treat both equally.  Both are like book ends. And like heart and mind, left and right brain, body and spirit, there is a duel role duel relationship interaction between the two.  

     There are periods in our lives when we remain in darkness and confusion. More often than not, during these times, the subconscious script has more influences on our actions, decisions and behaviors than the conscious belief script.  Days, weeks, even months go by while we operate on an ignorant and foolish autopilot, letting life happen and following after are carnal desires and impulses.

     Although we may be in total darkness at noon day, the Lord has not left us without help.  The Lord has scriptures and prophets to help us.  Prophets and scriptures help us avoid the dangers of the blind leading the blind.

    Prophets help shine light on the darkness and bring truth to resolve the confusion, but too often the wicked take this call to repentance as “hard sayings”.  The wicked take light and truth to be hard, and reject and rebel against it. 

    When the wicked take the truth to be hard and their hearts fail them, their love waxes cold; they are past feeling. When they are past feeling, they harden their hearts and seek to fill their emptiness with more extreme, selfish, carnal consumptions.  These consumptions only fuel the subconscious script and deeply ingrain selfish behaviors.

This type of wickedness becomes a downward spiral: rebelling against truth, failing hearts that wax hard and cold, seeking to fill the emptiness with carnal, natural, and selfish sins, which creates more wickedness. 

Selfishness is also a downward spiral.  Selfishness is an insatiable hunger that is never satisfied. 

In addition to selfishness, dishonesty also troubles us.  When we are deceived, we tend to deceive others through both words and actions.  We often say one thing and do another, or we cover what we do wrong with lies about how we want to be viewed. The secret side of us we want to keep a secret and we will go to great lengths to find words and deeds to cover them up.

Sometimes we think, just because our life seems out of control, that someone else is controlling our life. We have been given agency, but if we abuse that agency, we lose control. We often blame others for our own failures.  Like a control freak, and in a knee jerk reaction, it appears we over correct and wield our agency like a bull in a China shop.  Many divorces are the result of a person claiming they needed freedom to control their life, when their spouse wasn’t the real reason for their lack of self-control.

If the control freak goes too far, they include God in their Declaration of Independence.  Rebellion is as much about self-determination as it is about resisting authority.  The irony is that God wants us to be self –reliant and personally responsible for our lives, but those who fight against God take it one step further because they don’t want anyone else telling them what to do. 

Often, however, the pathetic result of a revolt against God  is the enslavement that occurs as the result of sins, addictions, obsessions, compulsions, and other habitual behaviors. Freedom without discipline and restraint becomes a two edge sword and, out of nowhere, the devil has the ultimate control of a person’s agency.

All this gives new meaning to the phase “Choose the right or lose the right.”

 

      Remember, agency is a double edged sword. Personal freedom is liberating and empowering but the consequences are just as great. The higher the freedom, the higher the consequences. Choices have consequences. Cause has resulting effects. What you sow so shall ye reap.

          There is often a "consequence window" between cause and effect. The time between the iceberg and the sinking ship. The time between the earthquake and the resulting tsunami. Personal freedom is appealing, but without some restraint, personal freedom can be dangerous.

It all starts with opening the blinds.

Seeing the problem is the first step to overcoming the problem.  Seeing the problem requires humility.

The need for humility can best be seen in the following analogy.  Picture a fish who has followed a lure and bitten the bate.  The fish is now hooked to the line and although he may thrash about and resist, eventually the fish will be reeled in.  Or consider a deer or other forest animal who has been snagged by a snare or captured in a well concealed trap.  The more the deer fights to get free, from the trap, the more damage the trap can cause.

Ultimately the only way to get free from the trap is to be still and call for the Lord’s help.  If we are humble, patient, and seek the Lord with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, the Lord will rescue us in His own way and in His own time frame.  We can make things worse by wrecking havoc on our lives and the lives around us or we can humbly submit to His rescuing process.

Again rescue first requires recognition.  Life is a series of realizations and the sooner we “come to ourselves” and realize the predicament we are in, the sooner the Lord can work miracles in our lives.

Opening the blinds opens the way for help from Heaven.

We often close the blinds because the truth is often so bright that it hurts.  Instead of facing off with the burdens that are before us, we dodge, deny, procrastinate, blame, avoid, cover up, rationalize, excuse, justify, retaliate, or simply just put our head in the sand.

Over time our little sand pile becomes a raging sandstorm and there is so much sand everywhere, we cannot see our hand or His hand in front of us.

The sand is so blinding we are “in darkness at noon day”.  When the dust settles we are lost in a desert that stretches aimlessly for miles or we are sinking in quick sand.

It easy to see why we cover up the things that canker the soul.  These burdens are a kind of toxic turmoil and dealing with the turmoil is overpowering and overwhelming.  But it is only overpowering and overwhelming if we try to conquer it alone.

You see, there is inside, each of us, a kind of internal radioactive waste. This radioactive waste within us is the result of carnal and natural behaviors, choices, and actions. It affects everyone:

            Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be . . . changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness.

It is the real result of toxic consequences. This radioactive waste is burning hot.  It is like a lava flow beneath the surface  of our soul. It is hard for us to get too close to many of the core issues in our lives because of the intense heat from this raging fire. We attempt to douse the fire with coping methods and mechanisms.  Too often however, the methods become vices, addictions, obsessions and compulsions and they intensify the fire rather than extinguish it.

In addition to our attempts to douse the fire with coping mechanisms, we also pour accelerant on the fire as the result of sins and temptations.  Three areas that create the most burning fire are: Passions, Possessions and Power. Where the Savior was tempted, we also are tempted and the consequences of these sins creates a firestorm.        

Because of the intense heat that comes from the radioactive waste, we easily get burned.  These burns are mental, emotional, and spiritual. They are the scares of the circumstances and choices in our lives. 

It is an ^“everlasting burning”, a “gall of bitterness” the “darkest abyss”see  Mosiah 27: 28-30

Self mastery is the result of self control over as much of our conscious and subconscious mind and heart as possible. Self control is disciplined agency: it is to act instead of being acted upon. Self discipline is the key to personal freedom. The more we have control over the more we have freedom from. Growth is the result of harvesting our efforts in areas we have control over. We truly grow when we focus our energy on things we have control over and not waste out time and energy on things we have no control over. Wisdom is knowing the difference.

But will power is not enough for self mastery over the subconscious side.  Concentration alone cannot break years, decades, or a life time of conditioned behavior. Character flaws are not cosmetic or superficial, and change will require more than promises, lip service, and grand goals and ideals. For many of us parting the Red Sea will be a lifelong process.  The important thing is to recognize and start the process of change.  This requires two very important virtues: honesty and humility.  We have to honestly admit we need to change and humble enough to seek the Lord for help.

The atonement of Jesus Christ is extended to include more than the consequences and effects of sin.  The atonement of Jesus Christ also envelops all the conditions and circumstances of fallen man and the effects of a carnal and natural world.  All of the effects!  It is the greatest ordinance ever initiated: one that only a Savior could take upon himself.  This great and last sacrifice opened the windows of Heaven and broke the bands of death and hell with an inexhaustible supply of amazing grace and transforming power.  

It is this transforming power that can reach every corner and rescue and redeem everyone shackled by the bonds of iniquity and the chains and vices of Hell. For He “ remembereth every creature of his creating, he will make himself manifest unto all.” Mosiah 27:30

Start today by opening the blinds and placing all of your trust in Him.

Snap Out of It

Sometimes changing behavior is like interior decorating: there are only so many ways to move furniture around the room.  Instead of just changing behavior we need to be changing our nature. And changing nature is not about placing artwork, adjusting loveseats and fluffing pillows.   You can spend a lifetime pursuing self-improvement without improving anything. You can even buy new end tables without really changing anything in the end. 

Surface changes are deceiving because, at first glance, things appear to look different and feel different.  Surface changes are superficial and rarely ever last.  New coats of paint only cover, they don’t clean or restore, real character flaws and weaknesses.  Suntans fade, false lashes need replacing, nails need filing and fixing, along with a whole host of nips and tucks and Botox injections.  Spare tires around our wastes expand, muscles diminish, beards turn grey.  Leather jackets and designer clothes with sports logos can only cover up so much for so long. And even boats, golf bags, and motor bikes won’t makes us better people.

Certainly, certain cosmetic improvements are desirable and sometimes necessary, but a misplaced emphasis on the outward appearance leaves the inward character neglected.

In reality, the spirit, mind, and body, are all part of the temple of the soul.   And the temple of our soul is the temple of our God. What we do with our body and brains, time and talents, we will be accountable for to God.  There will be an accounting, in the end, and we must account for every minute, and every trivial pursuit.

We are raw materials. We are carnal, natural, and devilish. While changing behavior is a necessary step in the right direction, changing nature requires help from the Lord.  It is in the grand design of a loving Heavenly Father to bring to pass our immortality and eternal life. This work and glory requires the remodeling and restoring of fallen man to the straight and narrow path of progression and perfection. This spiritual remodeling can only be done by God, He is the way, the truth, and the life.

One way we fail to confess the hand of the Lord in our own lives is when we constantly try to take matters into our own hands.

Emotionally we can become like airplanes flying over an airport stuck in a holding pattern trying to land. Repeating the same holding pattern is like a process of hypnosis and we are often in a trance, under its spell, until the holding pattern is broken. Miraculously, we can break the spell or holding pattern thru true repentance. This requires that we recognize and admit, no matter how minor, the part we play in the problem. Maybe we jump to conclusions, take things too personal, get too easily offended, try to do things our own way, make assumptions like assuming we are right or being too critical of others and not allowing for their mistakes. These are storm clouds over our lives and they block out the sunshine, which sunshine, as a matter of fact, is always shinning, we just can see it thru the overcast and inversion that has set in.

But we weren't born that way. We were born with clear skies, full of light and truth. Over time the weather patterns changed as the result of conditioning, upbringing, and other influences. All of these equate to what the scriptures describe as the "traditions of the fathers".

Fortunately we aren't left to remain under clouds of darkness.

There is a certain order in the Universe. This order is certain, unchanging, stable, and governing. This order is certain, unchanging, stable, and governing, because it is not of men, but of God, who is also unchanging. While we are free to alter our behavior, our very agency cannot change this order. For example, Winter is followed by Spring which is followed by Summer and then Fall. The pattern repeats itself systematically and automatically without any participation on our part. While we are free to dress for winter during the summer and dress for summer during the winter, our fashion protest does nothing more than frustrate and irritate us. We are uncomfortable, but our discomfort is not the fault of the season which we are rebelling against. We are uncomfortable because of our decisions and choices.

Less dramatic than wardrobe statement is a more subtle form of emotional rebellion. We simply complain in the summer that it is too hot and wish it was winter, then in the winter, we complain that it is too cold and wish it were summer. Like the newborn that has his or her days and nights mixed up, it is possible to never be content because we have screwed up our perspective. We call good evil and evil good.

Two examples of calling good evil and evil good are not immediately recognized as such. The first example is that of blame. When we blame other people for our own unhappiness, we are really in effect doing just that. The blame disease is so prevalent yet such a subtle killer that people don’t realize they are infected by it and, over time, blame becomes resistant to eradication because we resiliently resist ever accepting the fact that, more often than not, accountability begins and ends with us.

Murmuring is a close virus to blame. The infectious nature is the same. Murmuring can not only poison our souls it also can become a chronic habit. This chronic form of complaining can constantly cloud our perspective. Believe it or not it is possible to complain about everything.

It is possible to become addicted to murmuring and blaming, and after a while, we think both behaviors are normal behaviors. Our plane, in the holding pattern, becomes inverted and not only can’t the plane land, the plane is flying upside down, so even when the landing strip becomes clear, the plane is inverted and not currently capable of touching down. The worst part is that rarely do we recognize our plane is inverted in the first place.

Feeling stuck in the inversion, isn't it time to snap out of it?

Dancing with Disappointments

I am not much of a dancer.  I have never taken any classes and watching me boogie on the dance floor is embarrassing for both of us.  But it is fun to dance to the rhythm of pop music every once in a while.

In my adult life I was involuntarily introduced to another kind of dancing.  My daughters and I performed in several community theater productions and in every production there were some required dance numbers with dance choreography.  The dance steps in these numbers were often very demanding. The choreographers were professional and pushed for perfection.  Needless to say, my two left feet often stuck out like a sore thumb.  I was slow to learn and awkward as I performed the numbers.   No one could have guessed, by the way I was performing, that I had, in fact, choreographed for drill teams, colorguards, and marching bands, every summer for 25 years.

Miraculously, and to my astonishment and surprise, by the time the musicals hit the stage, I had learned and successfully polished the dance numbers and dance routines enough that I didn’t ruin the performance for everyone else.  I was particularly pleased and grateful for the patience of the choreographers.  They knew that, in the early days of rehearsals and practice, most of us, if not all of us, would make lots of mistakes, until we got it right.  

There is a lesson to be learned from my dance instructors about dealing with life’s disappointments. Mistakes, accidents and mishaps happen.  Our level of happiness in life will depend on how we deal with them.

In fact, I don’t really like phrases like deal with, or cope with, or manage, or react, as they relate to mistakes, accidents and mishaps. I pondered for some time on a word that I could use that would positively express the idea that we can positively get through things we face in life, until we get them right.  At some point in my pondering, this whole ideal of dancing came to my mind.

Dancing through disappointments certainly won’t be easy at first and like learning the dance numbers, mistakes will happen. But when I think of dancing I think of positive energy, of fun and laughter and cool dance moves.

We have all heard the primary song. “If you chance to meet a frown, do not let it stay, quickly turn it upside down and smile that frown away.”  Even after all these years, hearing or singing that song makes me smile.

Let’s change it a little bit.

If you chance to meet a disappointment, do not let it stay, quickly turn it upside down and dance that disappointment away.

If you chance to meet a mistake, do not let it stay, quickly turn it upside down and dance that mistake away.

If you chance to meet an accident, do not let it stay, quickly turn it upside down and dance that accident away.

You get the idea.  You will face disappointments daily.  Mistakes, accidents, and mishaps will happen to you and you will also cause your own fair share at work, at home, in your marriage, on even on the highway. How you learn to dance with it, go with it, move and shake with it, will make all the difference in your level of happiness.

Here’s why: people tend to be easily offended, take things personal, get impatient and upset easily.  They react and internalize mistakes, accidents, and mishaps that come their way.  If they don’t “quickly turn it upside down”, resent will build, and overtime it will destroy marriages, other family relationships, and even affect mental and physical health.

I love this quote that changes Newton’s law of motion. “For every action there is an equal and opposite over reaction.”

Do you overreact?  Do you freak out over little things, take everything personal, or get agitated easily? For years you have probably blamed everyone and everything else for the poison you feel inside. But you are solely responsible for that poison. Unhappiness is not someone else’s fault.  Not a day will go by that something will go wrong or someone will wrong you.  For your own health and happiness, isn’t it about time you learned how to dance?