THE PROMISE OF PURITY OR HALF-RIPENED APPLES AND OTHER THOUGHTS

If you were offered two apples, one half-ripened and the other fully ripened from the same tree, which fruit would you prefer?  Of course the answer appears easy: you would want the fully-ripe apple. But what if you had to wait longer for the second apple to ripen?  What if you had to wait for a considerable time?  Would you have the patience to wait even when the first apple is available and offered to you?

Sexuality could be likened to these two apples.  Although it sometimes appears forbidden, sexuality is not a forbidden fruit: it is a fruit that we must wait for, until we are legally married as husband and wife.  Many times we will be offered, if not tempted, to partake of the half-ripe apple. The world believes that you should taste the half-ripened apple before you get married so you will know if the fruit is desirable and the feelings are mutual. 

Isn’t it logical to assume that those who taste a half-ripened apple before marriage are often disappointed?  There is no guarantee that this is always the case, but those who try to test and see if there is chemistry too early, may have a half-ripened, empty experience. Perhaps they even assume, because it was an empty experience, that there was something wrong with the relationship or something wrong with the other person, or that the chemistry wasn’t there.  Or, like a one night stand, the empty experience proves that while chemistry may have been there for a moment, the chemistry was fleeting and didn’t last. 

Perhaps the greater problem in this isn’t that there isn’t chemistry or a connection, but that the connection is being attempted too early.  Isn’t it logical to assume that, although biological, sex before marriage isn’t in harmony with truth and with the Lord’s admonition that passions and appetites should be reserved within the bounds the Lord has set?    And without truth, life is empty, and there can be no fullness of joy.

When we violate our chastity and our virtue we trade love for lust.

I am perplexed by how so many people around me are blotting out and killing their consciences and the very moral compass that is the only way they can tell right from wrong.    

Individualism fosters moral relativism which breeds moral, sexual, and spiritual rebellion.

Integrity is a true reflection of our character and our conscience.

Wishing things turned out differently is really not an option. Ask yourself this question: Do I want things as they once were, or do I want things as they are now.  Therein lies the answer.

Sometimes love skips along like a skipping stone, and like many relationships, the heart stops skipping and the love doesn’t last.  Each stone is different. Most skip once or twice.  Searching for love is like searching for the right skipping stone, but once you have found it, and believe in it, it has the potential to skip on and last for eternity.

Bless mothers who live in such a way as to set an example of purity and virtue for their sweet, innocent, virtuous girls, bringing peace and giving hope that virtue and honesty and holiness are the purest way to happiness.

How much our Father in Heaven loves us! May His kind and wise influence guide and direct our lives through the light and love of His Only Begotten Son.

Christ is at the Center of an Abundant Life

We see life from a personal and mortal viewpoint.  It is a subjective viewpoint.  Our perception of the world is limited to our knowledge, our conditioning, the light and truth we have received and maintained and even the seemingly limitless reaches of our own imagination.

This personal subjective perspective is flawed, of course, because we are mortal, ignorant of so many things, and obstinate and opinionated by so many others.  We see life with very limited lenses, when we perceive the world subjectively.

God, however, is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent.  Our Father and our Savior see things from an Eternal and objective perspective.  The scriptures teach that man’s ways are not God’s ways and God’s thoughts are higher than man’s thoughts.

Expanding our subjective view of reality to see “things as they really are and as they really will be” is greatly enhanced by prophecy and revelation from God.  Without prophesy and revelation, we would be left to our own strength, and left to see things from a very poor point of view.   But through the power of the Holy Ghost, our vision of the world around us can become clearer and deeper and viewed from an eternal perspective.

As with all truth, prophecy and revelation most often come “line upon line, precept upon precept.”  It is gradually given to allow us the opportunity to expand our capacity to understand it and our responsibility to live it.  We invite prophecy and revelation into our lives by obedience and through the instrument of prayer.  When we pray to our Heavenly Father we are initiating a connection to Heaven, and if our hearts are open and pure, God will answer our prayers with revelation.

Perspective has been described in many different ways and with many different metaphors.  Take the proverbial “glass half full/half empty” metaphor.  Those with a positive perspective see the glass as half full and those with a negative perspective see the glass as half empty.

But perhaps this metaphor can be taken one step further. In addition to the above application, it is also possible to see a glass half full with an abundant perspective and a glass half empty with a scarcity perspective. In other words, those who view the world as a world full of abundance will see the same glass as half full and those who view the world from a scarcity point of view will perceive the glass as half empty.

If we see the world with an objective and abundant point of view, we can’t help but see it with a cheerful and grateful perspective.  The Lord has blessed us with so much, and there is so much the He has to offer.  But even more than this, if we view Almighty God as a generous and loving God, we will be open to the bountiful spiritual blessings and gifts He is waiting to send us.  We will recognize that God gives liberally to those who ask in faith, and to the righteous,  he promises ”mansions on high,” yes, and even promises “all that He the father hath.”

But if we let fear and doubt and scarcity creep into our lives, if we let the poison of scarcity thinking fill our minds and hearts, we begin to panic and worry that supplies of good things will run out.  We become less generous and more jealous.  We stop looking at life with an objective perspective and see life from a “what’s in it for me” point of view.  Over time our scarcity mentality really becomes a hyper selfish mentality and we take more than we give and bury our talents and hide our light under a bushel.  The cloud that hangs over those who are selfish and stingy expands and balloons into a full blown storm  of darkness.  Like the dark ages where things really were more scarce, this modern day dark age is a sad, subjective reflection of selfish people so in need of meeting their own needs, first and for most, that they fail to realize that God really does reward those  who serve and magnify their lives, and pours down  prosperity and blessings  insomuch that there isn’t room enough to receive them.

Loving and serving the Lord doesn’t take away or distract from reality, it gives depth and purpose to it. Happy is the disciple who lives what he or she believes and thrives and prospers in the process, for Christ is at the very center of an abundant life

The Man At The End Of The Train

I recently took a trip with my mother and my aunt to Europe.  During the trip we made several public transit mistakes.  The first mistake included getting on the wrong train.  A few days later, not learning our lesson from our earlier mistake, we boarded a wrong bus headed in the wrong direction.  Even after these two mistakes, on the last day of the trip, we got on the right bus but got off at the wrong stop.

The miracle, after each mistake, was that there was, miraculously, someone at the end there to help us.  At the train stop, for example, my mother went up to last person on the train and began trying to explain our plight. It literally was the last stop of the train, and we had gone miles and miles in the wrong direction.  But, it just so happened that the man at the end of the train was an American living in Paris who spoke English, and was able to immediately understand and help us.  We just needed to ask for help.

A few days later we repeated our mistake.   This time, we were in Italy not France.  This time it wasn't a train it was a bus.  When we realized we were on the wrong bus, it was too late to change and the bus took us to the train station.  But, again, not only was there a stranger there at the train station to help us, the Russian stranger we meet also understood English, and helped us find our way.  He was the only person left in the train station, the only one.   The young Russian went out of his way to help us and even went with us, for most of our journey, to help us find where we needed to go.   We just needed to ask for help.

On the last day of the trip, we finally paid attention to the signs on the bus and boarded the right bus going to our destination.  However, we missed our bus stop and ended up at the airport.   From the airport, not knowing what bus to take, we started a long walk in the direction of our destination. As we walked it began to rain. Just as the rain started, a shuttle bus, going directly to our hotel, just happened to drive by us at the right moment, and graciously pulled over when we waved it down.

Without these Samaritans at the critical junctures on our journey, we would have been left in some serious predicaments.  It would be easy to wave off the encounters and pure coincidence and luck, but the blessing that came from help from others was also, unmistakably, help from Heaven as well.

There are many lessons that can be learned from these experiences.  Miracles, Samaritans, asking for help, answers to prayers are at the top of the list.  But perhaps the greatest lesson I learned is just how easy it is to get lost by getting off the right path.

More often than not truth is a very narrow path that, without divine direction, is easy to depart from. It is so narrow that, sometimes, the slightest altering of facts or subtle shifts in attitude and opinion can divert us from truth and send us down the wrong path.  Misinformation and misunderstandings are just as dangerous as falsehood and lies.  This is true, not because the information is any more or any less evil, but because regardless of the intention, when information isn’t right, it can lead us in the wrong direction.

Remember just because something isn’t evil, doesn’t mean it isn’t wrong. 

Mistakes aren't always sins, but they are still wrong choices. We can choose to get on the wrong train. 

And just because we didn’t know something is wrong doesn’t make it right. False can never be true, right can never be wrong, regardless if we didn’t know or believe it. Many people marry the wrong person for the wrong reasons, for example, because there was no resistance and they missed the warning signs along the way. The honest in heart seek guidance to know right from wrong, they do not ignore it or openly rebel against it, The honest at heart are humble enough to ask for help and humble enough to accept advice. 

Maybe now is the time to interrogate yourself and ask the right questions.  What am I doing that is wrong? Am I on the wrong path?  Who can I ask for help?

Asking the right questions can help us to recognize that there are things we are doing that are wrong and we may not even know it.  When we give wrong answers on tests we rarely intentionally chose to give wrong answers. We simply make mistakes. We can easily mistake right from wrong and choose to choose what is wrong. Sometimes we just choose, by mistake, to get on the wrong train.  

Life is as much about learning how to avoid mistakes as it is about learning from mistakes when we make them. Righteousness is a combination of resisting and repenting of sin. Righteousness is like a kind of safe driving.  And safe driving includes defensive driving, a skill of dodging other drivers and obstacles.  Therefore, driving, like so many other things in life, requires skill and strategy. Traveling, for example, also requires skill and strategy. Travel includes places to see and places to avoid.

As it is with most things in life, in order for things to run smoothly things require effort and planning. Goals are a gold mine of good planning.

Good travel requires good decision making, sometimes on the fly, but more often with well thought out considerations and careful planning.  Successful trips usually require careful planning and while some success comes from last minute or spur of the moment decisions, most trips are the result of countless hours of rate checking, map studying, budgeting, forecasting, and adjusting, because failing to plan ahead ruins more trips than the rain.  If fact someone once said there is no such thing as bad weather only poor planning.   Think of all the effort we put into house plans, wedding plans, and travel plans. If we put so much effort into planning these important but temporal events in our lives, why do some put so little thought and attention into dating and marriage? Our success rate in marriage is revealing. Our marriage failure rate is indicative of something, that something is wrong with the process.

Like those who try to wing a trip with poor planning, those who try to wing a relationship are also usually disappointed.  Winging it means doing without forethought or planning.  Winging it often includes unnecessary risk. Winging it also includes refusing to ask for directions or help. Because our culture places too much emphasis on falling in love, instead of building a loving eternal relationship, the elements of chance, risk taking and gambling are glamorized over spiritual guidance, prayful consideration and direction, and honest introspection and careful observation.

When all is said and done, however, there are some things you just can’t plan for.  We can make emergency preparations for calamities, but we rarely can forecast and plan for them.  Many of the calamities in marriage are the result of a change that comes over people, often many years after the wedding day. Just as there can be a mighty change of heart for the good, there can also be a mighty change of the heart towards iniquity.  Just as the spiritual mighty change of heart may be more of a growing process than an event, those who grow closer and closer to iniquity often change undetected and unnoticeable over time.  The drastic change in their character seems remarkably drastic and sometimes shocking when it is revealed, but usually the change happened slowly over time.

But, like cancer, by the time the wickedness or negative changes surfaces, it is hard to reverse the damage or stop it.  Those who rejoice in iniquity usually don’t care at that point or won’t admit at that point that they are doing anything wrong anyway.  They have seared consciences that have gradually and slowly and imperceptibly gone dark over time, and their rebellious refusal to repent and to change is the result of years and years of denial not a dramatic change or single event. Those who refuse to change and repent now simply find more joy in rejoicing in iniquity.

No matter how giddy they may be, they do not feel real joy, or the eternal joy that is promised in scriptures.  Wickedness never was happiness. They may feel a sense of merriment, however. They can now eat, drink and be merry, because it is so very easy to be a sinner and it feels like so much fun to sin. 

But the scriptures teach us to rejoice not in iniquity but to rejoice in truth. To understand what it means to rejoice not in iniquity, may require that we understand and recognize when we or others rejoice in iniquity. When we celebrate evil things we rejoice in iniquity. When we enjoy things that are wrong or enjoying doing what is wrong we rejoice in iniquity. When we refuse to admit when we know something is wrong or choose to remain ignorant to actions and behaviors that are wrong we rejoice in iniquity. When we deny that right or wrong even exist in the first place or deny the clear facts that something is wrong, we rejoice in iniquity and we are dangerously in the wrong and are heading in the wrong direction, we may even be on the road towards denying the very reality and mission of Jesus Christ. 

Just because something tastes good, looks good, smells good, or feels good, doesn’t means that it is right. Just because we enjoy doing something that is wrong doesn’t make it right.

Remember false can never be true, wrong can never be right, regardless if we didn’t know or believe it.

But there is a miracle available to us after every mistake that we make. There is someone at the end waiting to help us.  Even if it feels like it is literally our last stop, and we have gone miles and miles in the wrong direction, there is someone there who understands and can help us.  We just need to ask Him for help.

Someone Stopped to Listen

Yesterday I arrived early to the adult session of Stake Conference.  I found a seat on the last bench in the chapel.  As I tried to make myself comfortable, it became obvious to me and to others that I had come alone.  

I watched for over a half hour as couple after couple entered the room.  Occasionally a few widows from my ward would pass me, but mostly it was married couples that made their way, together, into the chapel.

Across the chapel, and entering from different locations, I recognized several familiar faces.  I saw many faces of people who had passed my way in life. 

Well the meeting started and I continued to sit alone. The Spirit was sweet as we listened to the various speakers. Then one of the counselors in the Stake Presidency spoke about the Good Samaritan, showed a church video adaptation of the story, and then asked for members of the congregation to give examples from their own life.

I was prompted to comment, but I did not. Immediately my mind was flooded with the Spirit and I began to tear up.  “You are not alone,” came the soft sweet voice.  “For tonight you are surrounded by friends.”

  

If I had been given a chance to bear testimony about a Samaritan moment in my life I would not have been able to choose just one, for in that very audience were many people who had been Samaritans to me.

  

In that room was a quorum member who didn't really know me, but during my darkest hours, would somehow know the right Friday to call me up and ask me to lunch.  In that room was a sweet couple who had practically adopted me as a son and contacted me daily to talk and to listen.  In that very room was a home teacher who faithfully came regularly and gave more than just lessons.  He also had been through a divorce, but was happily remarried and provided encouragement and hope during my most painful moments.

Samaritans come into our lives for many reasons, but the lesson I learned that night was that Good Samaritans listen.  They listen to the Spirit to know when to stop and save souls.  But they are also there to listen to those who are lost, broken and hurting. 

We live in an age where communication tools are so prevalent, but are we passing by without paying attention, are we passing up opportunities to really opening up our hearts to hear those who sometimes just need someone to talk to--they just need someone to listen.

Before the meeting a former member of my ward did stop to ask how I was doing.  Birth had deprived her of some mental faculties and her ability to communicate was clearly impaired, but her heart was pure and her loving kindness was apparent as she asked how I was coping and wanted me to know that she cared so much and wanted to help in any way.  

I left the meeting alone but I left the meeting rejuvenated by the memories of true friends and the message from the speakers and the Spirit that we can mourn with those who mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort, if we do as the Samaritan and the Savior did, and stop and listen.

To Robert

Sunday morning, December 30th around 9am a homeless man died in my parents home of health complications. Robert was only 52. My mother had taken him in since April. He had been divorced twice and his second wife had just remarried. He had children from both marriages that he rarely got to see. Robert died as much from a broken heart as a failed heart. 

He served his country for years in uniform, and was helpful to my mother as a handy man doing odd jobs to help around the house. When I arrived at the scene, several police cars parked along the road and the officers inside the house asked questions, took pictures, finally carried out the body and left. We were left with lots of questions, lots of tears, and lots of quiet moments of reflection. We reflected on the few good moments with this humble man, and realized he was "one of the least of these". 

May Robert's memory forever remind us that people need love and attention and help and understanding. No one is perfect, but no one should be left behind or alone. I spent enough time with Robert to know him well enough to miss him, and long enough to realize his life was cut short and he missed out on many of the good things life has to offer. His life now is in God's hands, the same God who holds our lives in His hands and holds us accountable for what we do with our life.

To Robert

The Have To's and the Want To's

Desires and passions can be positive pressure in our lives. Positive pressure provides motivation, increased ambition and true devotion.  It is opposite of negative pressure.  You can often tell the difference by how you answer the want to/have to questions.

Do I have to go to church?  Negative pressure. Do I want to go church? Positive pressure.

Do I have to celebrate Christmas and open lots of presents? Do I have inherit a million dollars?  The answers to these questions seem pretty silly because the positives should outweigh the negatives in the above sentences. The want to's should outweigh the have to's.

Isn't it sad that some people feel like they have to follow the Savior?  It really is like someone complaining that they have to wear oven mitts to take freshly baked cookies, on a hot cookie tray, out of a hot oven. We should want to follow the Savior just as we would want to protect our hands from getting burned and enjoy homemade cookies!

Isn't it about time to turn the have to's in our lives into the want to's? Let's start with the Savior and his gospel. Do we want to go to church, keep the commandments, repent of our sins?  Do we want to be baptized, be conferred the gift of the Holy Ghost and renew our sacred covenants thru  meaningfully partaking of the sacrament each week?  Do we want to serve a mission, remain chaste before a temple marriage and perfectly faithful after our temple marriage ceremony?  Do we want to have children, spend time with our family, read the scriptures together, and work to provide the necessities of life, or have the have to's negatively stolen our peace and happiness by poisoning us with negative pressure and negative feelings?

If we are constantly complaining about what we have to do we need to pray to the Lord for help and for a change of heart. With a want-to mighty change of heart, we can use the power of faith and positive pressure in our lives to move mountains.  When we understand the power of a mighty change of heart we can understand the following scriptures more fully.

"They had no more desire to do evil but to do good continually." Alma 19:33 see Mosiah Chapters 1-6.

"For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance." D & C 1:31

Perhaps the one that came running, and knelt before the Savior and asked "Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?", then when asked to sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.", felt the negative pressure of the have to's instead of the want to's to forsake all. See Mark 10:21-22. 

In contrast the Lamanite king that wanted eternal life and joy so much that he said "I will forsake my kingdom, that I may receive this great joy."

and then prayed, “O God, I will give away all my sins to know thee." Alma 22:18

A slight change in the following primary song, sung at the right moment in our lives, might make a difference between the want to's and the have to's.

"If you chance to meet a have to, do not let it stay, quickly turn it upside down and want that have to away."

May our hearts constantly reflect a willingness to know the will of God and to do His will.

Let us want to love and serve God with all our heart might mind and strength is my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Thoughts from Facebook

It has been over a month since my last entry on this blog.  Instead of blogging I found myself writing down thoughts and posting them on my Facebook page.  Here are a few of those entries:

I believe the central message of the story of the musical I watched last night is that lasting love requires real trust which requires complete honesty which requires deep open communication which requires a pure heart with nothing to hide, holds nothing back, and does not have to or want to lie to anyone about anything.

God expand our capacity to bear one another’s burdens in addition to our own. Some people are hit with such devastating pain that they can hardly function. As we seek to easy their pain, let us appreciate more fully the incomprehensible pain Christ suffered for us, to save us and bear our burdens.

In His darkest hour and the agony of His Gethsemane, He did not abandon us then, why would He abandon us now?

Trusting in the Lord sometimes requires that we trust that He chooses to tell us the truth thru other people. 3 sessions of conference later I am more convinced that I am not a sheep being led by blind guides but a son of God and a member of a church lead by men and women of God. My testimony is a gift from God. A cherished gift, blessed by the testimonies of others who also were given this gift. It truly is a gift!

Life will always be busy. Life will always be complicated. There will always be trials. There will always be drama. Contentment is not looking for happiness around the corner, it is embracing the present and wrapping your arms around all the little blessings that surround you.

Life is ultimately about what you know, how you live, who you are, and if you loved. So learn, live, laugh, and love and life will bless you with abundance.

My deepest desire is to be close enough to heaven to recognize the guiding messages and tender promptings that come from a loving God who has patiently waited, with open arms, for me to correct the many mistakes I have made and the disappointing detours I have taken. No matter how faint His voice or how foolish my endeavors, He keeps His promises when I keep His commandments. How priceless is His kindness.

Tomorrow is defined by the minutes lived today. So live today as God intended, full of love and good cheer. And when tomorrow meets you, no matter how difficult the day, it will know you are a good soul and celebrate having passed your way.

i can enjoy Hawaii today because brave men and women paid the ultimate price in defending it. I can worship God, according to the dictates of my own conscience, because patriots and pioneers paid a bitter price to preserve it. I can have the hope of eternity with my family because my Savior redeemed my soul with innocent blood. May my own sacrifices be an expression of my deepest, deepest gratitude.

My life has meaning and purpose because my love for God and knowledge that He lives confirms my belief that families can be together forever. I am so grateful for my little women and the smiles that they bring. Life is too short not to hold them, hold on to them & tell them that I love them. May I serve them & love them all the days of my life & to my dying breath defend the truth that I know that my Redeemer lives!

Although the tradition is to bless the children before school, the overwhelming feeling, this father experienced, is that these children, these precious angels, are the real blessing.

47 years ago tomorrow i started my journey through mortality. Since that time i have served a mission, graduated from college and met and married a beautiful woman. Together we have three beautiful girls. I have been so very blessed! Things are different now. But God has made up the difference. In fact, God has made all the difference! If the future is anything like the past, it will be because God is in the details. I will praise Him all the remainder of my days! My life is filled with so much joy because I know that my Redeemer lives!